A New 7 sevens

I suppose it's only fitting that my final blog entry for 2005 would be one that reflects back over the year, and projects hopefully into the new year. I'll post this and then I will turn this thing off, and get over there to that school shelf, and start re-organizing it. We've been off school for over 2 weeks and the kids have made a mess of the shelf.

Marla posted this tonight, and left the tagging open - so I'm being a glutton. (Kim has a similar one that I actually started but then deleted, for various reasons. You should read Kim's too.)

Seven Sevens for the New Year

7 things I want to do in 2006

1. see my mom (tentative plans for her to visit us in April, Lord willing)
2. become a better photographer
3. lose that last 15 pounds of Ruth-blubb.
4. become better disciplined - in several areas of my life
5. see my store become a successful venture (without always feeling like it's a monumentus waste of time)
6. manage our finances better
7. remain discerning but advance to more grace in my critique (of anything)

7 things to do less of in 2006

1. lose my temper
2. eat potato chips
3. get caught up in blog/forum/chat-wars
4. react with emotion
5. leave my desk messy
6. worry (about everything)
7. frown

7 ways I‘m going to be a better wife/mother/friend in 2006

1. listen more & speak less
2. let my girls help me cook/bake (I have kitchen-territorial issues, this will be very hard for me to do, but very important for them to learn kitchen skills!)
3. respond to emails/blog comments in a timely fashion
4. encourage Kev more
5. be less critical of Jessica's fashion/music tastes
6. remain grounded in Scripture (as this will dictate how well I do all of the above!)
7. encourage the kids in a more regimented routine of chores - so the whole house runs a bit smoother, and we have more time to relax or play!


7 Scripture Passages I want to memorize in 2006

We already do this in our Bible lessons every day. It was a surprise to me last night that I was able to recite Psalm 1, when it was over 2 years ago we memorized this one.

7 Books I’ve Never Read (or started and been sidetracked!) that I‘m Going to Read in 2006

Oh boy... well, if finances allow:

1. The Death of Death in the Death of Christ - John Owen (Kev and I both just commented on this one an hour ago)
2. The Forgotten Trinity - James White
3. Scripture Alone - James White
4. A Case For Amillenialism - Kim Riddlebarger
5. Total Truth - Nancy Pearcey
(this will keep me busy enough, and I don't want to be too eager)

7 Movies I’ve Never Seen that I’m Going to Watch in 2006

I can't answer that - I'm not a huge movie fan. I'll rent the ones that come out that I want to see, and leave it there.

7 people I want to join in too

I'll leave the tagging open - join in if you like.
And with that, I wish all my readers a very Happy New Year.

New Additions to the Book Blog

I've been busy this afternoon adding more books to the book blog. Today I've added quite a few selections from Spurgeon, James White, Arthur Pink, Jerry Bridges, John Owen, and more. I didn't count them but I believe there are somewhere in the area of 20+ new titles. The general disclaimer applies of course - while we don't give across the boards endorsement of every tidbit in every book, the resources are there because we think they deserve to be, and are worthy of merit in an overall sense.

Eventually I hope to be able to make the blog more user-friendly and easily searchable. For now there is a google search tool there you can use to search for titles - and in some cases authors, at the blog.

I hope my readers here find this a useful and helpful resource. I will be listing books geared toward men, women, children, family reading, and videos/dvds when appropriate.

I wonder if you would consider adding the new blog to your blogrolls?
If you find it worth adding, that is. :-)

Reflections Bloggerview: Frank "centuri0n" Turk

I have no doubt that most of my readers here, are at the very least, aware of who Frank "centuri0n" Turk is, if not regular readers of his blog. When I started doing these bloggerviews, I thought it might be fun to pose key questions to certain bloggers, maybe even questions on issues they haven't addressed on their own blogs yet! With that in mind, welcome to the next installment of

Reflections Bloggerview: "centuri0n"

Carla: Who is your personal hero & why is he/she so special to you?

Frank: There's a man in Syracuse, NY, by the name of Bruce Aubrey. He's the pastor who baptized me and made me realize that being a Christian is not just about admitting out loud that Jesus is right and you are wrong. He has a wife, a family, a growing church, and a love for God that you just can't beat.About 2 yrs after I was baptized, I got promoted at my job and had to move. My new position was about 4 hrs away from that church, and my wife and I were having a devil of a time finding a church that was alive and preaching the word. After a couple of months like that, I got a phone call from Bruce asking me how things were, and I told him, and he started making a trip out to have lunch with me once a month until we found a church that became our home church - a process that took about a year. Bruce never said, "listen: you have to find a church and stay grounded in the word, and until you do I'm going to check up on you and make sure you don't fall off the apple cart." He just did it. And he did it in such a way that it was obviously out of love for Jesus, His church, and me and my wife.That's what it's all about, and anyone would be blessed beyond measure to have a pastor like Bruce. I think he'd take issue with being listed as a "hero", but he's living the life. One of the things Paul says over and over in his letters is, "if you want to know how to live your life, use me as an example." Bruce can say that without any pride or shame, and I think that's the definition of being a hero.

Carla: How would you define "orthodoxy" as it pertains to the Christian faith?

Frank: Well, no softballs, Carla. That question is why I started blogging in the first place. Orthodoxy starts with the Gospel itself - that's why I have 1Cor15:1-4 listed and hyperlinked at the top of my sidebar. If you properly define the Gospel, you have God's idea about what's important. For example, in 1Cor 15:3, Paul says, "Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures" - well, who is "us" ("our" is the possessive of "us")? When you know who "us" is, it turns out that "us" are not just receivers of a gift and it's vacation time: "us" has received a gift which in turn places a responsibility on us to demonstrate we have that gift. So for example, "us" are "believers"; "us" are all baptized; "us" are in fellowship with other believers; "us" are repentant; "us" are in prayer; "us" are doing good works; etc.This definition of "us" is the whole practical matter of our faith, but it is not just some kind of pragmatic issue. It is a result of a right understanding of who God is, what He has done, what He is doing, and what He intends to do. I have also blogged (once) on an ancient and somewhat-anonymous Epistle to Diogentus, which was penned some time before 200 AD. If you take the time to read that letter, it is striking in the way that what the Christians believe is related directly to, without any Rube Goldberg explanation, how they live, what they do.

That's what Orthodoxy is: a total package of belief and action that distinguishes Christianity from everything else in order to proclaim the message of Jesus Christ.

Carla: Your position in a Christian retail business gives you a unique perspective to notice key trends (programs, books, marketing, etc.) that affect Christian thought. If you had to name one trend, or fad that seems to have taken off the most, which would that be?

Frank: Well, to clarify, my "position" in Christian retail is really just participation. I'm an upper-middle manager in a Christian publishing company (which prefers I not use them as an example of anything; because I like getting paid I will oblige), and I'm the owner of a successful Christian bookstore in a market area of about 40,000 people. I'm sure I don't set any trends.

For better or worse, I'm going to answer your question the long way around. I got into Christian retail in part because I felt gifted and called, but in part because Christian retail makes me sick. Most non-chain Christian retail looks like is it run by very nice, ministry-minded people who think that the ideal setting for Christian retail is a flea-market or pawn-shop type environment; most chain CBA retail looks like it is run by somewhat-cynical second-rate retail executives who think that orthodoxy is not their business. When I got into the business, I thought that if we couldn't be a city on a hill, we could at least be a voice crying out in the wilderness.

One of the great lessons I learned (or rather, re-learned, because I knew this when I worked for the WAL*MART in another life) is that while 50% of the problem in any retail car wreck is the retailer's fault, the other 50% is the customer's doing. The matter of whether your store looks like a flea market or a pawn shop (disorganized; rarely cleaned; third-rate fixtures; lousy inventory control; tons of old inventory; dark; etc.) is your fault, and it's going to define what kind of customers you get. But even if you have the sense to control all that and your shop looks like Barnes & Noble, you can only sell what people are going to buy - and you have to sell what people are buying because you can't take a collection at the end of the month to cover the rent and the lights.

Carla, I am sure you and I know a lot of people who are disappointed by what they find at their local Christian bookstore. But you know what? That's the stuff that sells. Let me be very clear what I mean by that:

• That's the stuff 90% of Christian shoppers are looking for

• That's the stuff pastors and preachers are recommending

• That's the stuff people are using for spiritual reference

So the major trend I see in Christian retail is a kind of perpetual dumbing-down of the Christian life. It's horribly ironic - we have at our disposal extraordinarily-powerful means of delivering any message we want, especially when we compare it with first-century means, and rather than people lining up for Mahaney and Sproul and MacArthur and Piper, they are killing themselves for Lucado, Osteen, Warren and Joyce Meyers. In the end, it may not be so ironic since it is in our weakness that God is strong - maybe Christian retail turns out to be a man-centered religion of works as opposed to faith.

Carla: What has been your greatest joy in life, so far?

Frank: [snark for the fans]I have no joy. I am a dour Calvinist who wants to suck the joy out of all the lives I come in contact with.[/snark]
(I'm sorry Frank, that job is already taken by ME, you'll have to apply elsewhere!)

Leaving atheism in 1991 was a joy; finding my wife was a joy; growing with her in Christ is a joy; raising my kids is a joy. Not to be a smarmy greeting card, but today is a joy. Being able to be grateful even in hard times is a joy.

Carla: What would be the number one thing you'd like people to think of, when your name, or your blog, is mentioned?

Frank: For the non-believers who wander through my blog, I want them to be completely rattled by it. I want them to see true Christianity, which, as they say, is not actually a very tame Christianity. Christianity is not a bacchanalian frenzy, but it is not a passive, stoic, theoretical thing. For the believers, I want them to think about things they aren't thinking about, and to start doing things they didn't think they could do. So "the number one thing I'd like people to think of" in reference to me is "radical Christian message".

Carla: What’s the one thing that might surprise people about you?

Frank: This is not a joke. I was a cheerleader in an all-boy's Catholic High School.

Carla: If you could only have 5 links on your blog, which links would they be, and why?

Frank: That's a somewhat-unfair question because I have so many links and someone (Challies) is bound to get his nose out of joint.

In no particular order:

• http://www.aomin.org/ -- because James White is smart enough to be able to make you feel stupid, and loves Jesus enough not to.
• http://www.dougwils.com/ - because someone has to keep an eye on Doug Wilson ...
• triablogue.blogspot.com - because Steve Hays is the man, and in 2006 he is going to have both Jonathan Felt and Gene Bridges as sidekicks. Did you know he is about to publish a 500-page e-book refuting atheist arguments against the resurrection? I'm trying to write a review/recommendation for it that does it justice.
• PyroManiac - Phil's a great blogger because he has a conversational style and, unlike me, he can stay on-topic. Some day he is either going to just blog and stop worrying about how many posts he makes a week, or he's going to quit because it's too distracting. I hope it's not the latter.
• A blog aggregator for Calvinst Gadfly, Brad Williams, Daniel @ http://doulogos.blogspot.com/, Eric Vestrup (to whom I owe a phone call - I'm such a lousy friend), Kerry @ http://theologicallycorrect.com/webmaster/blogs/, and of course my sidekicks JIBBS and Gummby.
• And I would sneak links to Kim and Carla in when no one was looking. :)
  (awww, how very kind of Frank to mention myself and Kim!)
  
  In closing, I’d like to thank Frank “cent” for agreeing to do this interview, and sharing his views. I really enjoyed reading Frank’s answers to these random questions. I hope you’ve enjoyed it too. (I will refrain from making any comment about the cheerleading thing – I’ll leave that with the readers).
  
  
  
  

Hometown Irony

Now here is some irony for you. Yesterday, someone from Bremerton WA visited Phil's site. For whatever reason, they also clicked the link to this site, then visited here.

Bremerton is my hometown, and where I spent 30+ years of my life before moving to Ontario just shy of 8 years ago. Now I know a have a visitor (hi Kathy!) from a nearby town, but very rarely does anyone ever surf in here from Bremerton. So I thought that was kind of neat.

You can find out all sorts of trivial information about Bremerton at wikipedia (and I'm sure there is a more thorough source, I've just never taken the time to look). Such as:

Bremerton is a city located in Kitsap County, Washington, USA. As of the 2000 census, the city had a total population of 37,259. It is home to Puget Sound Naval
Shipyard (that's pronounced pew-jet, not poo-get) and the Bremerton Annex of Naval Base Kitsap. Bremerton is connected to downtown Seattle by a 60-minute ferry ride, which carries both vehicles and walk-on passengers.

It's funny how I could tell stories (numerous ones!) about just these little tidbits hyperlinked here. Just last night, talking with this lady on the phone, I even mentioned the Naval Base.

Hardly a New Year's Eve goes by without very fond memories of the hilarious night my friends and I spent at a comedy club in Seattle on new year's eve. I won a draw - free admission to me and 20 of my closest friends! I think in all there were only about 12 of us that actually went, but boy did we have a blast! We missed the last car ferry back to Bremerton, so we had to take the passenger only ferry, and it was FREEZING! I don't remember any of us caring much though - I think we were still laughing too hard from the comedy show. (And doing our own versions of the stand up comic that impersonated James T. Kirk).

In reading the history of Bremerton, I was drawn to the section on the 1940's. My mom was a year old when Grandpa moved the family from Eastern Washington, to Bremerton. He was out of the Army and took a job in the shipyard during the war boom. That was 1941

At the peak of World War II, the Bremerton area was home to an estimated 80,000 residents due to the heavy workload of shipbuilding, repair and maintenance required for the Pacific war effort. Most of the relocation was temporary, though, and only 27,678 citizens were left in the city by 1950.

By 1950, my mom was 9 years old, and they were living in East Bremerton. The location of their home is where the current McDonald's sits. I often thought of that whenever we'd go to McD's in East Bremerton.

Here's something to be proud of, as happening in your hometown:

President Truman took a two-day tour of Washington state in 1948, speaking from the balcony of the Elks Club on the morning of June 10. Local legend has it that a man in the large Pacific Avenue crowd yelled the infamous "Give 'em hell, Harry" line for the first time. This is a matter of dispute, however, as local newspapers quoted the man as having shouted "Lay it on, Harry."

Local legend indeed. I heard about this at least 87 billion times, growing up there.

One of the things I regret the most, was that I never visited Mighty Mo, the whole time it was there, and I was there. I'm not sure why, but I think it's a matter of being so familiar with something, you underestimate it's significance or value:

The battleship USS Missouri, site of the Japanese surrender treaty signing that ended World War II, was assigned to the Pacific Reserve Fleet at PSNS in 1955. For 30 years, she served as the city's primary tourist attraction. Hundreds of thousands of visitors walked the "surrender deck," before the ship was recommissioned in 1985.

Being a local and admitting you'd never been on Mo, was something you just didn't do.

This was something most locals will never forget from the 1990's:

Four elderly residents were killed in an enormous three-alarm fire that destroyed the 165-unit Kona Village apartment complex in November 1997. Damages were estimated at $7.5 million. A replacement senior apartment building has since been built.

I remember it far too well. I lived right across the street.

That morning I woke up around 5:30, and immediately noticed something wasn't right. I couldn't put my finger on it, until I realized the lighting in my apartment was all wrong. It was eery, but there was a glow on the walls that shouldn't be there, especially at 5:30 in the morning. I looked out the window and to my horror I saw flames shooting farther into the sky than I could see by the limited view of my window. Even writing about it now, gives me goosebumps.

I was one of the likely hundreds of people that dialed 911 that morning. The local Seattle television news stations were there covering the fire, and the whole area for several blocks every direction was closed off. People were streaming out of the burning building... in tears, in shock and covered with soot. Almost all of them in robes or just their night clothes. Most of the people that got out, did so with only what they had on - and they lost everything they had.

I stood on the sidewalk off and on throughout the morning, and just cried, and prayed, and offered whatever help I could, to whoever came my way. My brother was a local law enforcement officer, and his reports about it later, were more chilling than what most of the public already saw with their own eyes.

Kev and I were not married then, it was just me and the girls. That afternoon we scoured our little apartment for everything we didn't need (clothes, dishes, extra Bibles, etc.) to collect for the donation stations already being set up at the church down the hill. We ended up with 4 large trash bags filled with items. When the police finally let the locals leave the neighborhood, I drove down to the church and it was already packed full - they had no more room to receive ANYTHING else, no matter how small - so they directed incoming donations downtown to the Salvation Army. They were packed too, but they were receiving anyway, in the back of a huge truck.

It was a fairly large building that burned down, and almost everyone in Bremerton knew someone that was in that building, that awful, surreal morning.

Some interesting "notable Bremertonians" (we always called locals Bremer-villians):

• The punk/rock band Mxpx hails from Bremerton, which they mention in their song "Move to Bremerton."
• Bill Gates Sr, father of the Microsoft billionaire, was born in Bremerton and began his law career with the local firm of Merrill Wallace. The elder Gates' father operated a furniture store and ice cream parlor in downtown Bremerton.
• Jazz legend Quincy Jones moved to Bremerton at age 10. As a teenager, he first met up with Ray Charles after traveling to clubs in Seattle.
• Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard attended Union High School and wrote his early works while living in Bremerton during the late 1930s and early 1940s.
• Long-time KJR (the radio station I grew up listening to) radio disk jockey and general manager Pat O'Day (nee Paul Berg) is a 1953 graduate of Bremerton High School. He began his concert-promotion empire by holding teen dances at Bremerton's Sheridan Park Recreation Center and the Spanish Castle in Seattle. He would later go on to promote such noted acts as Merilee Rush, Heart, The Wailers and Jimi Hendrix.
• Fifteen-term U.S. Congressman Norm Dicks was born and raised in Bremerton, the son of a Puget Sound Naval Shipyard worker. Dicks serves as a senior member of the House Appropriations Committee and also sits on the Select Committee on Homeland Security.
• Seattle Mariners utilityman Willie Bloomquist was born in Bremerton and grew up in nearby Port Orchard.
• Actor Howard Duff, best known as the radio voice of Sam Spade and later as Det. Sgt. Sam Stone in the late-'60s NBC television series Felony Squad, was born in Bremerton.
• The Tonight Show show host Johnny Carson was stationed aboard the USS Pennsylvania (BB-38) while it was in Bremerton for repairs following a 1945 torpedo strike.
• The indie rocker Ben Gibbard, known for his work in The Postal Service, Death Cab for Cutie, and All-Time Quarterback, was also born in Bremerton, Washington.
• Marvin Williams, a graduate of Bremerton High School, signed to the NBA team Atlanta Hawks in 2005. As a senior at Bremerton High School, Williams averaged 28.7 points, 15.5 rebounds, five blocks and five assists and earned McDonald’s and Parade All-America honors. He attended the University of North Carolina for one year.
• Dana Kirk and Tara Kirk attended Bremerton High School and received scholarships in swimming to attend Stanford University. They later won medals in the Olympics.

Now you're probably wondering why I shared all that information about Bremerton. I don't know really, maybe it's because sometimes I get a little homesick for the smell of saltwater, the rain, the view of the Olympics on one side, and Mt. Rainier on the other... seeing seagulls everywhere, hearing the shipyard whistle blow, and familiar streets. Just a wee little trip down "hometown lane".

A New Blog

Well, sort of. I've begun moving my "bookshelf" page from my old site, over here to blogger in a new blog. You can visit the blog here. I just started this last night, so I only have 32 books on the shelf. I've got a LONG way to go. These are books that we've either read, have on our literal shelf to read, have on our wish-lists, or have come highly recommended by credible sources & friends. These books are linked through my CBD affiliate program, so every book you buy I get a few pennies (literally) for recommending it. It's literally a win/win for both of us. (and just in case anyone actually thinks I'm getting rich off this venture, let me assure you I am not - in the last three months I've raked in a whopping two dollars and 50 cents.)

I hope you're blessed by what you find over there. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think (either here, or there).

Also... stay tuned for the next installment of "Reflections Bloggerviews". You might be surprised to see who I'm picking on interviewing next. I hope to have the next bloggerview up in the next couple of days.

Her name was Jane

She was 15, a 10th grader, and an accomplished athlete, according to all the news reports & statements from friends. She was a lovely young lady, and now she's gone.

Folks are doing what folks always do in cases like this, they argue over who's to blame.

I guess I'm a little surprised to see nothing about this on any other blogs. Maybe it was there, maybe I just missed it.

Today when I was at the grocery store, Jane's picture was on the front page of all the local papers. As a mother of a 15 year old girl, my heart just goes out to Jane's mom. I can't begin to imagine her heartache. I hope she finds comfort in the Lord of Peace.

UPDATE: Go read Tim's thoughts on this, here.

On Christian Blogging

Well I went ahead and found a shoutbox and popped it in the template. It's over there on the right sidebar, feel free to leave a message - or completely ingore it. Entirely up to you. :-)

I had a very interesting conversation last night with this guy, on google talk. We talked about accountability, the EC, and not letting what other people say (the bad things) get us all worked up. It was a really good talk and I was blessed by it, so thank you Adrian. :o)

Last month he wrote a very good piece on "principles for Christian blogging" that I would highly recommend you all read, if you haven't already. I would also highly recommend google talk.
The sound quality is amazing, even for someone on dialup, like me.


I'd like to point out one thing Adrian wrote last month on this:

"I do feel that it is vital for blogger to be accountable offline for the personna they have online. I am so glad that my pastor knows about my blog and reads it from time to time and whats more that bloggers could easily find his email and drop him a line if they felt I was out of line. Thats accountability. Some of the blogs that get into the biggest hot water dont have that level of offline accountability available to their readers because they are totally annonymous."

I can certainly relate to what Adrian says here. My pastor also knows I blog, and has read my writings as well. It would be a highly awkward thing to be "one person" online, and be someone completely different, offline. Now go and read what Adrian had to say re: Christian blogging, you'll be glad you did.

Cleaning extended...

I got all my cleaning done! YES, I am so effecient I annoy even myself. In fact, I got so much done early, I've decided to extend my cleaning today all the way to my online store.

I'm discontinuing over 50 items, to make way for lots of new graphics and products coming in the new year. I've slashed prices on these items, and you can see the full list here. All these items will be discontinued after 01/15/06.

Back to Normal?

Sometime yesterday afternoon it hit me. All the Christmas hoo-haa is officially over, and everyone has settled in to just enjoying their gifts & the time off from work and school. Now that the hoo-haa part is over, it's time for me to start gearing my thoughts back toward mundane housework (my house is a PIT, I haven't cleaned since Christmas Eve, minus the laundry and dishes), and straightening up the school shelf. Eww... back to normal.

Today I will officially turn back into Housework Hanna, stopping only briefly to check the water level in the ice rink. We finally got the plastic base-liner in yesterday, and started filling it. By this time next week, Lord willing, we'll have put enough water in, and we'll have had enough icy temps to freeze it solid, and we'll have ourselves an ice rink.

I started my new book Total Truth, on Christmas night, and haven't had an opportunity to pick it back up yet. This bothers me. I used to have so much "free time" to read. Granted, that was before having 900 kids. Oh well, it might take me 6 months to read this book, but I'll get it done, sooner or later.

I'm really looking forward to the new year. For me, since I homeschool, September really feels like "the new year" in many ways. January 1st however, always feels like "clean slate" time, and my thoughts and focus tend to be geared toward those things which improve the quality of life. It must be all those years of hearing about new year's resolutions & what they signify. Many years ago, I wrote a poem about such resolutions. With the brief disclaimer that I am NOT a poet, and was once rather Arminian in my thinking, here it is (I didn't realize the date I wrote this poem was 9 years ago today):

Resolutions

A new time begins
a clean slate for all
what wonders await
who will hear Your call?
Resolutions are made
promises vowed
so determined to change
so bold and so proud.
What is it we seek
when we choose a new start?
Change on the surface
or change in the heart?
Our world offers promise
so easily broken
Your gift of salvation
eternally spoken.
As we greet our new year
longing for new times
let’s all look inside.
Will He like what we find?
Change will come
for those who humbly seek.
When we listen with our heart
we hear the Spirit speak.
Where do we stand
what is it we desire?
An earthly solution
Your Holy Spirit fire?
Today is the day
it's time to make a choice
let us all seek permanent change
let us hear Your voice.

12-28-96 ©Carla Rolfe

Clearing the Air - I hope...

A brief history with Matt Slick of CARM.

On August 13th, 2005 I wrote about the issue of sound doctrine and accountability for public figures, here.

On August 20th, 2005, I wrote about a statement MS made in audio chat, that he also added to his web page.

On August 23rd, 2005 I documented how I thought the chat with MS went. This was a different chat than the one mentioned above. My own room was opened to specifically address to MS, some of the statements that he’d made, then changed, on his website.

September 3rd, 2005 I wrote about MS’s documentation of our chat from late August. No public replies were posted, but I did receive numerous emails on this subject. Seeing the actual text transcript of this chat shines a bit more light on what was actually written, and why.

September 24th, 2005 I voiced a bit of frustration with gossip and controversy hounds that kept bringing this up. That post was soon deleted, but the excerpt does come up in a search on the topic.

Three months later, some thoughts on this.

In the past week, MS has brought this up again twice, in chat. Several times a week, someone surfs into this blog from his “misrepresentation” post, at his site. Obviously he still wants to talk about it, and others are still interested in all of this.

What I see as a doctrinal disagreement and discussion that happened 3 months ago, MS sees as a blatant misrepresentation of his position and a malicious attack on his personal character and faith. Denise and I (and many others) wanted to address the issues, and MS wanted to take this personally. Interesting how perspective can alter things like this. The only possible way that my address, or Denise’s address of this could be construed as misrepresenting MS, would be if we both purposely and maliciously attributed to him, statements that he never made. Thing is, that never happened. In both of our articles on this, he was quoted word for word, with direct links back to his own pages on the topics.

Problem is, not all of those pages still reflect what was quoted, because he changed the wording during the course of the couple of weeks this was being addressed. He still maintains that we (Denise and I) have misrepresented him, without ever admitting that he was in fact changing pages during the course of this address, back in August.

At the time of the original address, numerous people online went and read those original pages, before Matt Slick edited them. Among those people that read his statements and found them cause for concern was Phil Johnson. He read the statements, and expressed his own concern here. Oddly enough, I was later accused by MS of also misrepresenting him to PJ.

Phil’s statements were his own, formulated by his own impression of what MS was proposing on his site. For the record, Phil Johnson came to his very own conclusion on the matter based on MS’s own words – not by anything I said to him. Not one person I spoke to after the fact, agreed with what he wrote (at that time), and did agree it was a teaching that was cause for concern.

Because he has since changed the wording, it might appear to a newcomer to this discussion, that we (Denise and I) are misrepresenting him. This is why it’s good to know the background, rather than come in ¾ way through the conversation, or only take one side as truth.

Matt Slick has said that he has gone back to his older pages to edit them only to clarify things. I find this a good thing. I would only hope that he would also be forthcoming in admitting that what was written about the original statements he made was not in fact, a misrepresentation, but an accurate writing on what he did say at that time. It’s easy enough to bring up cached and archived pages of those very urls, so it’s not as if folks can’t still see what was originally there. Matt Slick is being less than honest when says that he was misrepresented on this blog, or on Denise’s blog. In both cases, direct links and direct quotes were provided. Had we been attempting to misrepresent him, no links would have been provided, as this would defeat our cause (were the intent in the first place to maliciously misrepresent him as he accuses us both of).

Matt Slick updated his “misrepresentation” page again just last night, December 26, 2005. In that update he has stated a few things I would like to address, since it brings even more readers to this blog.

He responds to an email sent to him by Denise, regarding this matter. I’ll only respond to MS's points that pertain to me as well. My thoughts in brackets:

1. I know that Surphing does not believe she has misrepresented me. But she has as I have documented above. Others have also seen the misrepresentation. [Yes,others have seen this from MS’s perspective, as well as many
others who have seen if from mine, and Denise’s perspective. This basically comes down to MS’s word v. ours. It doesn’t appear this will change any time soon, so I really fail to see the usefulness of keeping this going.]

2. There is nothing wrong with clarifying issues, and that is what I did. It was necessary for me to do that because of the misrepresentation upon my position. [No, there is nothing wrong with clarifying, in fact it’s a good thing to do just that. However, again we read how MS is determined to accuse others of misrepresenting him, when in fact it never occurred.] Furthermore, I have already addressed the issue she mentions regarding the resurrection of Christ in the above paper. I am convinced that she is in error, given sound reasons for it, and she still refuses to admit. In fact, I am more than willing to continue the discussion in public, in a debate and/or in a discussion on paltalk to clarify. But, I am doubtful that such an event will ever occur because I do not believe either of them (Surphing and Christ Alone) will ever be willing to face me again on this issue. [MS is correct, I (my nick on PalTalk is Christ Alone) am not willing to face him again on this issue, simply because it’s beating a dead horse. I’ve already addressed it, stated my opinion on it, given reasons for why I formulated my opinion the way I did (Scripture) and told the truth about the way the chat went, the way MS edited his pages, etc. There really is nothing more to say about it, lest it simply become a “he said/she said” argument. I fail to see the benefit of doing this. We tried this once, and MS refused to stay on topic, insulted us repeatedly, and accused us of misrepresenting him, when we kept providing links back to his own writings.]

3. The paltalk discussion was extremely difficult for me to endure given the horrendously bad behavior that I was subjected to. [Another of MS’s opinions v. the opinions of others who were present that evening. Oddly enough, MS has very similar ground rules for running his own chat room, that I have for running mine. I will again state that he was not treated unfairly or “horrendously” as he now states, but was prohibited from continuing his insults and accusations toward the character of the people he was
addressing, and continuously redirected to the topic at hand. This was not an invitation to assault people’s character, it was a chat intended to get to the understanding of MS’s position on Christians & universalism, and his position on how the resurrection of Christ figures into the faith of a new believer.] I have experienced such ill treatment with atheists and Satanists and never expected it from someone who claimed to be a Christian. Also, I wasn't the only one who thought that I was treated very poorly, as I documented above. [This has also been documented in the previous posts here, and the full text transcript is available upon request]. Nevertheless, the issue is with the misrepresentation, the publishing of inaccurate information about me in a blog where others were brought into the discussion and my reputation and position were attacked. [This has also been adequately addressed].

4. If the pastor has read her writings and sides with her, then there should be no problem with her giving me his phone number so that I can contact him. I suspect that what would happen is he would rebuke me, hopefully try and correct me, and it will be done. I would have done my part and he would have done his and Surphing would feel vindicated. Nevertheless, she has refused several times to provide that information, the very information she requested of me and I gave. There is nothing wrong with me requesting to talk to her pastor regarding this matter since such issues of disputation are supposed to be settled within the church by qualified elders. This is not unreasonable. I am still waiting for the name and phone number of the pastor, but have yet to receive it at the time of this post. [Having been a part of the online community for 13 years, it is not only irresponsible to disclose personal information about yourself (such as your workplace, school or place of worship) it is also highly irresponsible for someone else to place a request for such information on another individual, on their public site. Any law enforcement agent that deals with computer crime, harassment, stalking, etc., will say the very same thing. In addition, those who may seek to ingratiate themselves toward the person doing this, might be compelled to go out of their way to dig around for personal information in this way. I believe Denise did the right and proper thing, in not disclosing this information but instead going to her husband and her pastor, and having them deal with her on this. I have done the same thing.]

5. I agree that the Scripture is the final word. But it is her interpretation of the Scripture that have a problem with. I have cited in the above paper a very respected reformed theologian (John Frame) as well as citations from Reformed catechisms in support of my position, so it isn't just my opinion I'm relying on. I've appealed to those who have far more knowledge than myself in this matter and they have agreed with me. [And Denise and I have both appealed to those who have far more wisdom on this than ourselves, and they agree with us. Do you see how this is truly going nowhere? It comes down to a disagreement on this issue – and I cannot see that this will change any time soon.]

6. I have, to the best of my knowledge, never publicly called for any personal information on her. [From MS’s web page on this very topic of being misrepresented: “They refused to stop misrepresenting me and now I must go to their elders. If anyone knows what churches they go to, please contact me and let me know.” A person’s place of worship is private information unless they choose to reveal it. This is in fact a public call for personal information.] I'm not interested in knowing where she lives, her home phone number, how many children she has, or her age. The information I've requested deals with contacting her pastor who is, essentially, a public figure. Therefore, I see Surphings avoidance as yet another misrepresentation of the facts. Second, I have never wanted to start church discipline on her [ again from the very same page “I want to find out which churches they go to and I want to contact their pastors and elders in an effort to have them disciplined for their misrepresentation and false statements about what I teach.”] because she is not in a local body in my area where elders can properly deal with her and I certainly am not implying that I have any jurisdiction over -- which is why I requested to speak to her pastor. I believe she is in error and I'm trying to take the proper biblical path in dealing with it. She has refused to allow me that proper avenue. [She has refused to comply with MS’s request for personal information, which is certainly within her right to do, but she has in fact not refused to disclose her own actions and writings on this for her own pastor to see for himself. Her pastor has in fact read all of her writings on this, as well as the writings here at this blog, and has found her to NOT be in a position to require the discipline that MS believes is in order, as per his statement.]

7. Again, I'm not asking for personal information. I'm asking for the phone number and name of her pastor. This is not getting personal. [see above]

8. I have not publicly called for any personal information about her therefore there is no necessity to remove the request. [This issue has been dealt with via her local church, so leaving the request on the site is in fact pointless, unless doing so would indicate another reason for leaving it there? This of course is speculation, but I honestly can't see any other reason to leave the request there, since it's already been dealt with.] In this paragraph she defines personal information as "church name, pastor, and church phone number." What is interesting is that she refuses to give the very thing she asked of me, which I gave: the name in phone number of the pastor of my church. If she is against providing personal information as defined by her, and why would she request the very same thing of me? I see this as a blatant inconsistency built upon further misrepresentation of what the facts really are. [see above again]

In conclusion, I still contend that she has misrepresented me. In addition, she refuses to provide the very thing she has requested of me (which I supplied), and has, in my opinion, unreasonably defined personal information to include what church she goes to and her pastor's phone number. Again, I'm only trying to contact her pastor to deal with a problem in a biblical manner, but she has blocked that option. [See again the above statement, that “option” has already been addressed by her local church]

For those of you that have read through all of this so far, I appreciate you taking the time to try to follow this. I am a part of it, and it’s not easy for me to keep track of all that has gone on, been said, been written, etc. Since MS put the request on his site for my church information as well, I wish to clarify that not only does my pastor know about this but so does my husband who was present during the majority of these confrontations with MS. Neither my husband or my pastor have any desire to contact MS to discuss this further.

As a result of all this, there has been much gossip, rumor, accusation, line-drawing, and side-taking. I find this inexcusable among believers, but more than that I simply find it sad. The initial issues THEMSELVES were lost in all this, because Matt Slick chose to take this as a personal affront, rather than address the issues themselves. Sadly, this has become all about poor maligned Matt Slick (the actual words of some who defend his position) and those nasty women who dare challenge him (more actual words of those who defend him). I’m not even sure how it turned out like this, but it did, and it’s been a miserable thing to deal with for the last 3 months.

In his conclusion, Matt Slick still maintains that we (Denise and I) misrepresented him. In my conclusion, I still maintain that this never happened. It would be nice to come to the place where we simply agree to disagree on this whole thing, and see Matt Slick remove his request for our personal info. It would be nice also for the insinuations of libel lawsuits against Denise and I to cease. Such comments as “I could have both their houses if I wanted them” which were heard by numerous witnesses just this past week, only serve to cause stress, and more division. It would also be nice if those who are benefiting from all this controversy, would simply quit adding fuel to this fire by making inflammatory comments, posting MS’s misrepresentation link into chat rooms, and pasting it on their blogs. I haven’t publicly commented on this for a while, for this very reason. The only reason I’m making this statement now, is because people have questions, and I believe they deserve an answer. Other than that, my honest wish is that this would just be left alone, and filed under “they disagreed – end of story”.

I’m optimistic, and I hold out hope, that this will happen.

As I proof-read this before posting it, the one thought that continues to plague me is the idea that even addressing this again, will only serve to cause more accusation, more gossip, more slander, insults, etc. I hope and I pray that this does NOT happen, but that calmer, cooler heads will prevail in all this.

I do hope that this serves to answer some of the questions that folks have been asking me about this, for the last few months.

Just a few things to note...

Okay, all my Christmas pictures are up. You can see them here.

Plus, starting day after tomorrow, I'm having an after Christmas sale at my store. You can check out the details here.

Tonight I'm trying out a new recipe for Turkey Soup. It sounds delicious, so if it's really good I'll share it here. If it's revolting, I won't. :o)

Quote of the day that made me lol for real (from #prosapologian):

"TheJavaMan can't wait to see Dr.O. debate Spong John Square Pants next Nov."

I read that to Kev, and he lol'd for real too. We are far too easily entertained.

Perfect Endings

After a very long day that began at 5 am, last night we gathered for our family devotion time a little early, then sent the little ones off to bed. Kev popped in a new dvd he received for Christmas, and I sat down here to go through my Christmas pictures. Suddenly... *POOF*... blackness, and silence.

The power went out.

It was snowing great big flakes, of heavy and very wet snow. That might have had something to do with it. Or maybe it was just the Lord saying "time to re-direct your attention". It sure worked, I can tell you that.

I lit all the candles in the kitchen, grabbed a coffee before it went cold, and sat down at the kitchen table with my new book Total Truth. I received this book for my birthday but it's been so hectic these past two weeks I hadn't even started it yet.

So I began the book last night - reading from the very beginning (the dust jacket) until just a few pages prior to the close of chapter one. I concluded even before I quit reading last night, a few things about the author, and a few things about me.

Nancy Pearcy is smarter than I would be if I lived 11 lifetimes. She is a very deep thinker, and the way she reaches and connects cultural trends & traditions, with a Christian worldview, is just astounding. She did make me squirm a bit with a few statements & quotes, but that's okay. She also made me think (more than a few times) "boy I wish this book would have been out when I was in the AoG church years ago".

I get awfully frustrated with myself for being as undereducated as I am. When I read someone that uses words not commonly heard in conversations I am involved with, I generally either get bored and uninterested, or frustrated because I don't know what in the world they're talking about. In a way, that's what I'm finding in this book. Much terminology I'm just not familiar with, and yes it's frustrating. I spend my time each day teaching little people, the basics of education. I'm immersed in little people conversations, explainations, and questions & answers. To remove myself from that mindset to a "big people with university education" mindset, is not the easiest thing in the world to do. This book will indeed be a challenge for me, but I'm going to read it all the same. And I already know I'm going to be blessed by it, even if it does force me to read it with a dictionary handy.

After I read a bit of this book last night, I closed it up and just sat there in the perfectly silent kitchen. I watched the reflection of the flame of the candle dance off the wall, then noticed I could hear the wet, heavy snowflakes hitting the window. The goodness of God, and His impeccable timing, to re-route our attention to Him - for our benefit and for His glory. That was my thought. I didn't care that the power was out, I had a candle, a good book, and coffee. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful (although incredibly hectic) day.

My Hat is Off To You

You know when you go visit someone's blog, and they have a list of links on the sidebar? Some folks call them "favorite sites", others categorize them under different headings, depending on the kind of blog, or personality types. Everyone does it a little differently. Mine says, "people you should know" because these are folks that post thought provoking, encouraging, interesting, and/or humorous things on a regular basis.

As I considered this past year and the things I've learned, people I've met (online and offline) via this blog, and other online formats, I was almost overcome with such a sense of being blessed by these people, and/or their online presence in general.

News sites always post their year end "top stories", so this is sort of a take-off of that. Call it Top Blessers, or Top Influencers, if you want to. But in no particular order, this following list contains the names/sites of people that have had a positive influence on me, in one way or another, and why. Some of them, might even surprise you. Some of them, I would easily be able to engage in a heated theological debate with - as we just don't agree in key areas.

Some of these names aren't even on my public blogroll, but I read them all the same. Some of them you know, others you probably don't. I'm not going to list every person but I'm going to list the ones that really stand out to me. It's going to take me a long time to list them all, because there are just so many. But it's worth it.

So, without further delay, here are the people who made the most impact on me, in 2005:

• Steph @ Growing Pains. Stephanie is a babe in Christ, but you might not know that from reading her blog. She's the same age as my oldest daughter, and she's been a blessing to me in so many ways, it'd be hard to list them all. I'm just glad she's my friend.

• Frank @ ...and his ministers a flame of fire. I first "met" Frank quite some time ago in James White's chat channel #prosapologian. It wasn't until I read this post at his blog, that I really started reading his blog on a regular basis. You need to read it too.

• Adrienne @ Journeying... by Grace Alone. This is one lady who wears her heart on her sleeve, for her children. She's been blessed abundantly this year with a wonderful little boy that her family adopted, and reading her account of the trials and joys they faced as they went through this, was just incredible.

• Daniel @ Duologos. There are some people who are smart, deep, or funny. There are not very many people that are all 3. Daniel is one of those people. His opinion, insight and humor have kept me coming back to his blog since I first visited earlier this year.

• Kim @ The Upward Call. I have had the pleasure of meeting Kim offline twice now. The first time was this past summer at a local coffee shop, and then just a few weeks ago we had them over to our home, for lunch. Kim (and her husband Neil, aka bugblaster) are like kindered spirits to Kev and I. The Lord has seen fit to really bless us with their friendship, and fellowship.

• David @ The Thirsty Theologian. I first met David early in 2005, and was immediately struck with not only his love for solid theology, but his ability to make me "lol" for real, and often. If you're not a regular reader of David's blog, you should be.

• Libbie @ Musings of an English Muffin. First of all, Libbie's blog is pink. And I don't just mean pink, I mean PINK. It takes a lot of moxxie for a lady to go that pink. I discovered Libbie's blog when Phil Johnson linked to both of us and placed us in his own category of "convivial". I think Libbie was already there before I was, but since he listed me there too, I figured I'd go read the other convivial blogs to see if we were alike. Libbie is an British sister, and her perspective on cultural trends & evanjellybeans is priceless.

• Phil @ Pyromaniac. I would be remiss to leave Phil out of this list, since he's likely had the most impact on me via the blogosphere. For some strange reason probably only understood by Wrigley his Beagle, Phil's blogspotting has often included this blog - and then he went and gave me a permament spot on his blogroll. Phil is... well he's Phil (what more can I say that blogspotting-hounds haven't already tried?). I'm honored to be one of the homeschool moms he links to.

• Denise @ SurphSide. I first met Denise a little over 2 years ago, and we hit it off almost immediately. She's one of the very few people in this world that I agree with on all issues over the 95% range. It may even be higher than that, but I'm being conservative. Her passion for sound doctrine, combined with her sharp sense of humor, makes her one of the "fun people" in my world.

• Tim @ challies.com. Most of my readers are also likely challies.com readers as well, so you know who Tim is, and what he's all about. I've only known Tim for a little over a year, but he's been a bigger inspiration and encouragment to me, than he likely even realizes. He actually trusts me to moderate his forums (what was he thinking?) and also contribute to his community blog. I look forward to the GTA Evangelical Bloggers Brunch next month, where many of us will finally get to meet face to face. Oh yes, and we're going to record Tim eating his lunch, for a webcast later on.

• Rebecca @ Rebecca Writes. I would guess that anyone who is a regular reader of Rebecca's blog, reads for the same reason. Her love for theology & sound doctrine shines through her blog like a refreshing beacon in a murky world. Rebecca was one of the very first blogs I added to my favorites, and the more I read, the more I keep coming back.

• Michael @ Historic Baptist Doctrine. I've known Michael for many years, and if there is one thing I admire about him more than any other, is his boldness for Christ. The Lord has done a remarkable work of transformation in Michael's life, and he dedicates his heart, and his mind to serving Him. If you want fancy-dan fluff-answers, don't come to Michael. If you want "tell it like it is" Michael's your man. He and I disagree in some things, but even in that disagreement, he remains one of the most influential people in my life, year after year (this past year being no exception).

• Darryl @ Dash House. Now this one might surprise you. Darryl is unapologetically sympathetic to the emergent church movement, while I am diametrically opposed to pretty much 98% of what they're all about. Some may even say Darryl himself is 'emergent'. Either way, of all the people that have responded to my critique of EC at ENo, Darryl has by far been the most gracious, and Christlike example of someone who can disagree and do it with dignity.

There are really so many more names & urls I could add to this list. There have been so many people that have had a profound impact on my life this year, that it would be impossible for me to remember all of them, and all the details. It's been an amazing year for me, in areas of spiritual growth, changes in our homelife circumstances, and maturity in personal growth as well.

I started this post several days ago and today, Christmas Day 2005, while there has been a lull in the activity around here, I wanted to finish this off and share it with you all.

The Calm

As I sit here at 4:20 am, I think about the coming storm. Not a snow storm of course, our forecast will be rather mild today. I'm referring to family, extended family, noise, food preparations, and the like.

So what am I doing awake at 4:20 am, you ask? Well... I went to bed early in anticipation for this very busy day today, and then woke up early as well - not exactly what I had in mind, but that's the way things work out all the same.

Today is our big feast day. Thanks to the generosity of my mom & grandma, my mother in law and sister in law, all the traditional holiday dishes & treats are here and ready to be prepared/baked/cooked/set out and consumed. I've spent the last 2 days preparing things, so I really don't have a lot to do today, except put a few things together and stick them in the oven.

When I was growing up, Christmas Eve was a lot different than the way it is now. We had our big dinner on Christmas Day, and it wasn't mom who prepared it, it was grandma. Christmas Eve was spent at grandma & grandpa's house, watching them open their gifts, and sneaking nuts from the nut tray & dipping into grandma's homemade cocoa fudge. Someone always bought grandma a great big box of chocolates, which she would promptly open and pass around to everyone, to enjoy. Funny how I do the same thing when someone buys me a box of chocolates.

Our traditions are a bit different, but in many ways they are very similar. The central ingredient of course, being family. We all converge on one house, and someone is always sneaking nuts & fudge. I keep saying "one of these days we're having Christmas at your house", to either my sister in law, or one of the older girls. I don't really think I mean it. I'd be lost without my hectic holiday routine. It's simply become "what we do". It's the expected norm.

If there is one thing missing from my own Christmas tradition, it's my mom & grandma. Since we moved to Ontario almost 8 years ago, I haven't seen them on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. I miss them both, and it's always a little teeny bit melancholy for me because they're not here (or I'm not there). The first year that my own oldest daughter wasn't here Christmas day, was a bit of a sad emotional struggle for me. I'm not good at letting go or shifting from the status quo. My people belong with ME, Christmas day! :o) I say this partially tongue-in-cheek of course, I know that as time passes folks do what folks do and carve out for themselves their own traditions. Kids grow up, sometimes they move away, and family holidays take on a new form.

I figured since I was up so early, and don't really have a lot to do this morning except bake a couple of bacon quiches for tomorrow's breakfast, I'd take a few minutes to share my thoughts here about all these things. Just me, my coffee, and my vanilla scented candle burning away happily. The only sound I hear is the sound of my fan in my pc, and my own fingers tapping away at my keyboard. This is the calm, before the Christmas Family Storm.

There will be laughing, people talking over other people, Ruth will cry when she doesn't get her way, the dogs will bark (there will be 3 extra dogs here today), the dishes will clank, chairs will scoot across the floor, and on it will go. Before we settle in to watch A Christmas Carol this evening, Kevin and the kids will perform Hark the Herald Angels Sing and Joy to the World, for the family. This will be one of the most lovely sounds I hear today. That, and Caryn, Jennifer and Jessica taking turns at the piano. All three girls have never had a music lesson in their life, and all three can sit down there and create hauntingly beautiful music. It's almost enough to make me cry.

I flitted around the blogosphere a bit this morning, and saw some pretty neat Christmas messages from folks. No need to link to them here, you all likely read many of the same blogs I do, so you already know what I mean. I don't have a story to tell, or a sermon to share, or anything like that, but there are plenty of them out there, to bless your socks off today.

I do have a Christmas wish for all of you, though. It's a pretty simple one, too. Today I wish you peace. That simple peace in your heart, that you reflect on, treasure, and hang on to, knowing that our God is a most awesome God. Knowing that He alone controls every circumstance, gives every breath we breathe, and every beat of our hearts. That peace that surpasses all understanding, gives us hope, and settles all doubts. That peace that is always there no matter how hard things are, or how blessed they are. If there is one gift anyone could have (and not just at Christmas time) that is priceless, and more precious than any other gift, it is the gift of peace, because of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the finished work He did on that cross. No other gift can compare to this.

I wish you all, a very merry, joyous, lovely, wonderful Christmas.

Clicking Channels

This is going to be one of those posts where you're reminded of flipping through the remote to a different channel, for something else on:

Yesterday was a busy day indeed, and yet another one of a rollercoaster of emotions (for me, and others) - for one reason or another. I have to wonder if the anticipation of Christmas only adds to that?

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Anyway, I had THE most amazing, blessed, precious conversation with 2 friends last night. It's been a long (too long) time since I've had a conversation like that, and it completely changed my countenance 250%. John and Stephanie, you 2 are hands down, 2 of THE coolest people God ever set on this earth. That's all there is to it.

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There was yet another unfortunate development at Kev's workplace yesterday, and almost all the "little guys" (not the corporate folks, they're never affected where it hurts the most) are on the short end of the stick, as a result. Without going into detail, suffice it to say there will be a lot of very angry people at work today, and their anger is 100% justified. If the Lord leads, you might like to say a prayer for them and all their families (ours too) because many people are going to be deeply affected by this development.

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I started a post last night that turned out to be much longer than I originally intended. The more I worked on it, the longer I realized it was going to be. It's a blessing to write this post, and it will be a blessing for you to read it, when it's finally done, and posted. I look forward to sharing that in the days to come.

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Adrian is busy making his site delicious. Someone please explain to me in laymens terms what all that means? What is it, how does it work, and why is it a good thing?

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I didn't even get all my baking done yesterday, but I'm almost there. Quiche, crepes, and pre-stuffing prep today, and then I'm done. I think? I did get all the Christmas china washed, rounded up all the candles in the house (we eat by candlelight on Christmas Eve) and made an apple pie (only to have one of the kids stick their finger in it while it was cooling).

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I sent a digital image to WalMart Photo Center online the other day, to see how it might turn out. I've never used the service, but have had it suggested to me many times (since I take thousands of digital pictures). The image I sent was edited, cropped, re-edited, and had some pretty drastic effects done to it, so I wasn't too sure how it might come out in the final product. Kev went to the store and picked up the print yesterday and I have to say, I was completely blown away by the high quality of their work. It was EXCELLENT! And here's the kicker, it only cost 24 cents! What a great discovery for me. I plan to send many more pictures their way in the coming weeks and months.

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"Faithful are the wounds of a friend". I can't even begin to guess how many times I've seen that verse misused in the last 2 weeks. Instead of being used to say:

"I am your friend, I love you and I'm concerned about you. I need to tell you something, and I pray you receive it the right way, even though it might sting a bit"

It's been used this way:

"I am a professing Christian, so no matter what I say you have to listen to me, agree with me, receive it, and repent. I don't have to be gentle with my words because I'm right, you're an idiot, and if you dont receive it, you're being an immature whiner".

I think the most critical word in that verse, is the word "friend". Real friends, real Christian friends, don't fire verbal missiles and disregard the damage they might cause. They're honest and helpful, and even when the words do sting, they're delivered with compassion and love, and then they stick around to help you through the sting, as well.

My 2 friends John and Stephanie and I talked about this verse last night, and it was a great talk. It reminded me once again what a true Christian friend really is. Sometimes I lose sight of that, and it was like a balm to my heart to be so vividly reminded again.

So there ya go, my miscellanious smattering of stuffage, for today. I haven't done the Friday Funny Bone for 2 weeks, and probably wont do it today either. Maybe I will, if I have time later, and have something worthy of the FFB to stick up here.

Festivity Speed Picks Up

Last night was our annual "let's go see the lights!" trip. For the kids it's pretty exciting, since we live in the country and don't get a chance to see how the folks on the next street decorate for Christmas, on a regular basis. For me, it's kind of a let down, since the place I come from has a street about 4 blocks long, that we call Candy Cane Lane. This is THE place to go every year (and we always went Christmas Eve) to see some of the most stunning Christmas light and yard displays. We don't have a Candy Cane Lane here, so the kids don't know any different. :-)

When we came home, we sat together as a family and watched Rudolph. Kev and I are so retro-nostalgic. He turned to me just as Rudolph and Hermy were landing on the Island of Misfit Toys and said "when you were a kid, did you ever wish you could have the toys on that island?" I said yes, and told him I always wanted the rag doll. He doesn't remember that he's asked me that question almost every time we watch this show.

I don't know what it is about Rudolph, or Burl Ives as a snowman crunching through the snow, about to tell the story... but something about it causes a little spark in my memory. The memory of a child, anticipating the magical, wonderful time of Christmas.

I absolutely LOVE this time of year. The snow, the family get togethers, the pretty decorations, seeing nativity scenes, the food, ALL of it. I told Kev last night all this bah hum-buggery about pagan Saturnalian celebrations, and how Christians are compromisers (if we celebrate) and etc, so forth and so on, is most depressing. If folks don't want to celebrate then fine, but do they have to be so ugly about it? It seems like more and more, the folks that take issue with Christmas take issue with tons of other things too - and before long it appears their joy is just gone. They don't come across as joyful in the Lord by any stretch of the imagination. I find that sad. Oh well, enough about that. Bah Humbug! (and no one can say it as well as Alistair Sim).

Yesterday, Kim does what Kim always does, and read my mind. She's handy that way. She posted her year end reflection on the friends and encouragment she's experienced this past year in blogging. It's a great read, and you should go read it right away.

I started a post like that a few weeks ago, as my own thoughts were drifting to the close of another year. I had it in the drafts, but then deleted it. Not sure why, but Kim's post is better anyway so go read hers. :o)

My super-busy time starts today. Final 2 days of baking and cleaning before the family descends on this house from north, west, east and south. Okay they're only coming from the east and the south, but you get the idea. We have our traditional Christmas eve dinner, followed by some of the most incredible Christmas treats (everyone brings their very BEST desserts), then A Christmas Carol with Alistair Sim. This year, before the annual "watching of the movie", we have a special treat for the family. Kev and all 5 kids will be putting on a special concert that we've been working on for the last 3 months. These people harmonize very well together, they should take it on the road!

After the movie, the little ones go to bed and the gifts are put under the tree. Last year after we did that, we settled into the kitchen for a hilarious game of CSI "the board game" and some of the most amazing cream cheese dip and chips. All I remember was alot of laughing, and that dip. I can't even remember who won the game (my sister in law Kim and I both decided the other night, it was definintely not Kevin, and was probably one of us, lol).

Almost everyone stays over, and is up by 5 am Christmas morning. Gifts are opened, my crepes and bacon quiche are in the oven warming, and by noon the place looks like a buffalo came through here, and you'd never know I spent days cleaning, prior.

It's always hectic, there is anywhere between 10-13 people here for 24 hours straight, and it's just busy-busy-busy. And I wouldn't trade it for anything in all the world. I am so grateful for my family, and the love they all share for tradition, like I do. Family traditions like these are what make up wonderful memories, times of closeness, and good talks with a cup of eggnog. Hard to beat that, eh?

It's a bit early yet, but Merry Christmas to you, and yours.

Taking a Risk

I don't know how it started, but Kev and I have this little thing we do, that is a sort of play on words. For example, if we're having a conversation and one of us says a word, or a name that happens to strike a funny bone, the other one will say a word or name, related to it. It just builds from there. This is the way it might look if written, instead of spoken:

Kev: peach melba
Carla: Melba Moore?
Kev: Michael Moore?
Carla: eww.., Michael Douglas?
Kev: Douglas MacArthur?
Carla: John MacArthur?
Kev: John Calvin?
Carla: Calvin Klein?
Kev: Kevin Klein?
Carla: Kevin Bacon?
Kev: eww... Bacon Double Cheeseburger?
Carla: Big Bacon Classic?
Kev: Wendy's, yum!

And so it goes. It can go on, and on, and on. Quite often, and I'm honestly not sure how it happens, Kev usually ends the game with "Alphonse D'Amato". Once I ended it with "Mani-too-ee Osso-soap-o". I have no idea how to spell his name, he was an NFL football player in the 70's (I think?). There are some names that just can't be outdone.

I thought of this last night as I was falling asleep, because in a less than funny way, it's a representative of how people tend to hear, or read, only the parts they want to hear, or read. Especially in the case of folks that are looking for something to come back at you with. When Kev and I do this, the intent is to connect what was said with something else, and out-funny, or out-original the other one. I confess, I rarely win at this game, Kev is much wittier than I am. He's good at out-stumping me with his comebacks.

When selective hearers, or readers do this, the intent is the same, to selectively hear or read those parts that they can use, to out-stump you. For no other reason than the sake of arguing with you, or assigning motives toward you, or to accuse you of something.

Yesterday, I was accused of being so self-centered that I have no idea what it means to understand that other people might be going through things much worse than I. That was quite likely the most ignorant, inaccurate statement made about me, all year. Maybe even the last 2 years. Maybe even the last 10, considering some of the trials the Lord has seen fit to bring my way.

At first though, the accusation hurt my feelings, because it's so untrue. Then the more I thought about it, the more ticked off I became. If there is one thing in this world that I might loathe more than anything else, it's to be lied about. Then I thought about it more, and took a deep breath, and considered all the variables (why it was said, how it was said, etc.) and just chalked it up to someone who either a.) doesn't understand me or b.) is just bitter and needed someone to take it out on, at the moment. Bad hair day... we all have them. I can't read other people's hearts, and I don't want to. I can only speculate on why people do and say, the things they do and say.

So I considered writing about this yesterday, but then decided against it. For one, I was too ticked off about it, and the ramblings of an angry person (while at times entertaining) are usually about as edifying as a slap across the face. Which is sort of how I felt. Now even writing that I know there are people that are going to say to themselves later on today "see!? there she goes again, with the pity-move!! she's so focused on herself it's all about her, her feelings, her thoughts, her issues, she makes me sick!!".

I have a word of advice to those who read this blog (and I know it's the most miniscule minority of my readers that do this) for the sole purpose of looking for reasons to be annoyed with me:

PLEASE JUST GO AWAY

I know that sounds mean, but let's get down to brass tacks here. Folks who read other folks blogs or forums or websites for no other reason than to collect dirt (or perceived dirt) on them, have much larger issues than I'm prepared to address this morning. This scoping the web, looking for people's commentaries for no other reason than to find something on them to use against them... that says a whole lot more about the reader, than the writer. It says they're looking for a fight. Almost always, when you go out looking for a fight, you're gonna find one.

Not that I feel obligated to defend my blog, but for the sake of simplicity, this blog IS about me. My thoughts, my theology, my opinions, my recipes, my kids, my pics. I share it all on this blog because I like to. I LIKE to read other people's insights on my insights, I like to post recipes for folks, I like to write about theology, and if I fall the down the icy stairs and I'm hurting like a big hairy dog with big hairy fleas, THAT is what I'm going to write about, if I feel like it. Does that mean I'm seeking pity and playing victim? Please, give me a large break. No, it means it's part of who I am, what's going on with me, and what I felt like writing about, that particular day.

As I've jokingly told numerous people over the years (when I do sometimes feel like I'm being way too self-absorbed about my problems) "if this were a pity party, you would have been instructed to bring chips, and/or dip". No good party is complete without refeshments. I do prefer french onion dip, for future reference.

At the same time however, I read something yesterday that really made me take pause for thought about this. Tim wrote about mentoring yesterday, and he gave a rather valuable insight into the need Christian men have, for brotherhood and support from one another. Men being men (insert Tim Allen's hooo-hooo grunt there) have a tendency to not be so transparent about this need for brotherhood.

Tim started his article this way:

"A short while ago I posted an article here with the tongue-in-cheek title of "A Desperate Jealousy." In that article I expressed my desire to have a mentor. I said, "I am absolutely desperate to have someone who will invest in me. I am desperate to find a person, or have a person find me, who will play Paul to this Timothy." That article seems to have struck a chord with other men, both young and old."

I'm so glad other men responded publicly and privately, in SUPPORT of what Tim wrote, rather than being catty and accusing him of being self-centered. Tim took a large risk there, and his readers were kind and supportive, and that's good to see.

Later in the article it was this quote that really made me sit back and think. Tim, quoting an excerpt that he read in Bill Perkins book When Good Men Are Tempted wrote this:

"We need friends who understand our fears and offer us protection, men who will stand guard around us during our times of vulnerability and shame."

I read that, then re-read it, then re-read. I've read it again at least 3 times this morning, replacing the word men, with women. I read it in light of the accusation against me yesterday, and wondered to myself, why sometimes women are so catty, and quick to tear other women down, when what we need more than anything from our sisters, is the very thing Tim quoted there. Friends who understand, protection & support during times of weakness or trials (big or small).

When I am weak, and when I struggle with things, I want that shoulder. I want someone to come along and say "yes, this does stink, I'm here, I'll listen". Of course I do have that with Kev, he's a fantastic listener, and I couldn't be more blessed in that arena. However, having that with sisters in the Lord is important too. The last thing anyone needs when they are down (for whatever reason) is someone to come along and say "get over it you self-centered slob, there are people in other places suffering worse than you!".

Well of course there is always someone worse off than you. Does that mean what you're dealing with isn't important, and that you don't need anyone's gentle guidance, prayers, support and friendship to restore you back to a sure place? Of course we need this!

Look here:

• Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)
• For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13)
• We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. (Romans 15:1)
• Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded (fainthearted), support the weak, be patient toward all men. (1Thes. 5:14)

These are just a small example of this expected conduct, found in Scripture. Over and over again in the Bible we find instruction on exhorting one another, edifying one another, helping, building up, encouragment, and support. It's not wrong or "pity-seeking" to expect this from our brothers and sisters in the Lord, (when we are down, or hurt, or struggling with a weakness) it's REQUIRED of those who claim to serve Him!

If there were ever any question of the truth of this, look again here:

John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

(Agape love: brotherly love, affection, good will, love, benevolence)

Of course there is also the tendency with some, to get into a mode of consistant self-pity. The poor-me syndrome, unable to see outside your own circle of circumstances, and getting overwhelmed by them. Sometimes, especially when the trials come one right after another, or two or more at the same time, it's very easy to fall into this kind of mindset. How we need the support and encouragment of our brothers and sisters ALL THE MORE, when things like this happen. Gentle correction, words of wisdom, prayer, and fellowship.

As I close this, I already know that I'm taking the same type of risk today, that Tim took when he first disclosed his heart's desire to be mentored by an older brother in the faith. To me, the risk is worth it.

Award Winning Cookies

I promised someone I would post this today and I almost forgot! Once upon a time (about 10 years ago) I entered this recipe in a contest at the local grocery store, and won first place. When I awoke from my coma, I spent the $250 bucks at the grocery store for 2 weeks worth of groceries! It was a truly win/win. Without further delay, here it is:

Citrus Frostbites

2 1/4 c. flour
1/2 t. salt
1 t. baking soda
1 T. cinnamon
1 c. butter
1 c. sugar
1/2 c. brown sugar
2 eggs
2 t. orange extract*
2 c. raisins
white chocolate, melted

Combine flour, soda, salt & cinnamon then set aside. Cream butter & sugars, add orange (I've used tangerine too, fresh squeezed and it's quite tasty) and egg, mix well. Combine the two mixtures, fold in the raisins. Drop by rounded teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 8 minutes at 375.

Transfer to a wire rack & let cool slightly. Dip each cookie 1/3 of the way into melted white chocolate, and let set on waxed paper. When set, store in an airtight container.

Enjoy!

On making people feel like public enemy #1

It's amazing, how sometimes when you go out of your way to avoid certain people, those are the very people you run into.

That happened to me last night in chat.

There's a certain person on one of the chat programs I use, that I avoid with ferver. He's an attention seeker and loves controversy and confrontation. I am none of the above.
He bores me, so I avoid him.

Last night when I came into the room he was in, he immediately sent a text message about a controversial topic that I've avoided for months. I asked him to leave me alone, and he said "okay". He then proceeded to take the mic (it's voice chat) and go on about how he's under such attack from his enemies, in his ministry. He then named me, and said I attack and lie about him. Which ironically, was a lie. And I said so in text.

Apparently this is the way you leave someone alone.

I don't recall what else he said, or how I responded, but I quickly left the room. The last thing I was interested in was defending myself against someone who is a master at controversy and creating a scenario where he is the victim and the other guy is the bad guy. No thanks, I don't even watch soap operas on tv.

Not to mention I was (and still am) in a great deal of pain, and just really wanted to sit and listen to a theological conversation, rather than immediately be put on the defensive.

What strikes me is not the fact that it happened (this is his style, I should have known he would do this), but the way it made me feel.

Almost immdediately I had a type of adrenaline rush, and it was very uncomfortable. Sort of like the feeling you get when you realize you're about to be hit by a car. If you've never been in that situation, be thankful. It's a nauseating emotion, and it's physical as well as psychological.

I did come away with a learned lesson in this, however. Due to the fact that I regularly confront doctrinal issues, EC issues, etc., I had to ask myself "do I come across as a bully and an attention seeker like this guy does?". God help me if the answer is yes.

I don't ever want to give that kind of impression to anyone. I don't want anyone to ever be made to feel the way I felt last night in chat. Part of that was due to the fact that I was lied about, and that ALWAYS ticks me off, but the bigger part of it was the way it was done. Shining the spotlight on my character as if to prove some point that he's the good guy, I'm the bad guy, and people should look down upon me. This is about as far from loving Christian character, as it gets. Especially when you lie to make your point.

So even though it made me ill to have to experience that nonsense, in a way I have to be grateful for it. It was a reminder to me to be far more circumspect when I chose to shine a spotlight on a doctrinal issue. It's the doctrine I wish to confront, and expose to the light of Scripture. If in the process of that, I can have a POSITIVE influence on the people themselves that hold to that doctrine, without making them feel like I was made to feel last night, then I will be the happiest person in the world.

If, on the other hand, I am guilty of making others feel the way I felt last night, then God help me. That's a sick and twisted way to treat people, especially coming from a Christian.

Tell me who are you....

Lately I've been reading a lot about writing. Writing styles, what works, what doesn't, what people like, what people hate, etc. It occured me to last night while reading the comments at Phil's blog entry "A Plea to Would-Be Poets" that I am painfully and embarassingly out of my league when it comes to being a writer.

I have no idea who most of the names are, mentioned in "writing" conversations. I have no idea what some of the phrases mean. I have poor control over grammatical style, and apparently I use commas FAR too often.

I write, but I am not a writer. I've written poetry, but I am not a poet. I paint, but I am not a painter, and I photograph, but I am not a photographer.

There is a difference between participating in these activities because you enjoy them, and being exceptionally gifted in them. I couldn't quote an example of a famous writer, or poet, painter or photographer - but I love doing all of the above. I couldn't name a famous pastry chef either, but I love to bake.

Of my writing, my mom is my biggest fan. When I told her I self-published my first 2 books she was so excited for me. She likes my writing. No one buys my books. What does that mean? It means I stink at writing and people know it. And that's okay. (hey, if I had a good editor, maybe no one would ever know how bad my writing really is? I am taking applications, but the job is without a paycheck, and there are no benefits, just so you know upfront)

It won't stop me from writing (although some would be pleased to no end if it did), nor will it stop me from taking yet another sunrise photograph, or penning a poem about the possibility of what heaven might be like, or baking yet another batch of whatever strikes my fancy at the time.

I guess this is one of those "where I am now" posts that Frank so enjoys. Or maybe it's a twist on that, and a "Who I Am Now" post?

The Who I am Now has a deep desire in her heart to simply write things that will bless people. Challenge people, encourage people, and tip a few sacred cows on the way. I like to be challenged, blessed and encouraged, and I know others do to. So if I can do that, even being a stinky writer, then I'm pleased I've been able to contribute something, in some way, that was a vehicle to that end.

So there ya go. This is not one of those blog entries that everyone and his dog will link to this week - it's just Who I am Now.

In keeping with tradition...

For some reason, every year right before Christmas I manage to have some kind of a horrible accident, and hurt myself pretty badly.

It's become a gloomy tradition, and when I squeeked by last year without an injury, we laughed and thanked the Lord.

Well... tradition returned today, double dose. Walking down the deck stairs, I stepped on an icy patch, and my foot went out from under me, and I descended the stairs on my hind end. At the bottom of the stairs, somehow I was catapulted forward and sideways, to crack my head on the side of the deck, then unceremoniously dumped in the snow at the bottom of the stairs.

Everything hurts. From my ear to my ankles. Thankfully, nothing broke and nothing dislocated. Just gonna hurt real good for a few days.

Maybe next year the Lord will be merciful and let me squeek by again since this year's blunder was so painful? I dunno...

Grumpy Pants

Yesterday in Barrie, Kev and the kids had a great time. I did too, other than the 2 hours I spent between resting on the guest bed and rushing back to the bathroom. Minus the graphic details, I had a rather extreme bout of IBS, immediately following dinner. Which means I missed most of the fun. I did however hear numerous instances of roaring laughter coming from the living room, so I knew they were having a fantastic time. I also heard a lovely chorus of Joy to the World, coming from the kids, which made my bout of IBS a little more tolerable.

Now to the important stuff. Our hosts Chris and Lisa, had a gift exchange - with a twist. I've never played before, and I was upstairs during this little game so I might have the details a little off, but here's how it basically goes:

Each person draws a number from a hat. The person with #1 gets to pick from the gifts, first. The person with #1 picks and opens a gift. Then #2 goes. If the person with #2 likes #1's gift better, they get to exhange with person #1. Then #3 goes, and they get to do the same thing. This continues until the person with the slip of paper marked "last" goes. Each person gets 30 seconds to decide if they want to keep the gift they opened, or exchange it with a gift someone else has already opened. The person with the "last" slip has his pick of all the gifts, since they've all been opened already.

Still with me? Good...

Some of the gifts were really nice, others were gag gifts. Such as, a package of TP, and a hand mixer tossed in by someone who's been trying to get rid of it for quite a while now (heehee Chris!). Rachel drew for me, since I was out of it, and she picked a wonderful gift for me that is a ceramic water fountain with little cherubs on it. Rachel did good.

Here's where it gets strange. One of the gifts was a pair of flannel sleep pants (did I mention I pretty much live in these pants? I'd go out in public with them on, if it were socially acceptable), with the Disney character of Grumpy on them. Extremely cool pants. Grumpy Pants. If there is anyone in this world that NEEDS a pair of Grumpy Pants, it is I.

I don't know who first got the Grumpy Pants, but they did change hands many times. They were one of the most coveted gifts. I heard second hand that Lisa (I don't believe this story) tried to hide the Grumpy Pants, when they were in her possession, and someone else was taking their turn. Hmmm... I think somoene was mistaken, Lisa would NEVER do such a thing! ;-)

So Kev, being the cheater that he is, drawing the slip of paper that was marked "last" had at his disposal, the coveted option of choosing between any of the 13 gifts available. It was a tough decision, the tension was thick, and the clock was ticking... (I heard them from upstairs killing themselves laughing from Kev's indecision). Just before his time ran out, he snagged the Grumpy Pants!

The 2.5 hour car ride home, was spent with my analytical, logical, reasoned approach, as to why I should be the proud owner of the Grumpy Pants, and not him. I mean, from a purely personality-standpoint, they would be misplaced, if he were the owner. He's laid back, easy-going, and has a considerable amount of patience. I, on the other hand, am none of the above. In another life, I might have made a very good drill sargent, or a ruthless dictator of a small unheard of country. It's just fitting, that I should be the wearer and owner, of said pants. It's simply a matter of harmonizing with the way things should be.

My argument fell on deaf ears. He revelled in the prospect of himself coming home from a hard day of work, to change into leisure wear... looking forward to wearing Grumpy Pants around the house. He mentioned how comfortable Christmas morning might be, in his brand new Grumpy Pants. He rubbed it in, like a spoiled brat pulling the wings off a fly. He was ruthless. No mercy whatsoever!

I'll show him... Mr. "I'm the winner of the Grumpy Pants and you're not, so neener-neener!". Guess what I'll be wearing when he comes home from work today?

That is... if he didn't hide them.

Oh yes, and the hand held mixer donated to the gift exchange by Chris? Guess who ended up with it? ROFLOL... poor Chris. There's always next year when you can exchange it for Kim's lovely package of toilet paper!

The Christmas Baking Countdown!

I sat down here last night and popped over to my ecosystem page. Those who know me, know I find stats rather entertaining, so it's a given I'm going to check them from time to time. It had been a while since I looked at the ecosystem rating deal, and here's what I found:

Now, what does this mean? Well, it means that I'm slipping back into obscurity, and this is a good thing.

I know quite a few people that would be upset to lose the spotlight on their blogs, and I must admit at first it seemed a little weird to see the stats drop so much, I actually felt far more comfortable seeing it drop, than rise. I'm not big on spotlights, because that means more people are analyzing every word you write, and that means more people wanting to disagree or confront you. Lately, neither of those things sounds very appealing to me.

This last week before Christmas always leaves me very very very busy. Christmas day is a huge deal to me, and I do my very best to make it as perfect and memorable as possible. Wonder-filled childhood memories, in a large way, are made up of special, family gatherings - and Christmas is the biggest one, for many people.

I recall saying once to Kev "how come every day can't be like Christmas day?". I know it's a silly question, but it would be great if every day could be like Christmas day. All regular schedules set aside, families coming together for laughter, good food, one of the older family members telling a story (even if it's the 15th time they've told that story) and just a real sense of closeness with the people you love the most.

Every day can't be like Christmas day, because people have to go back to work, the laundry has to be done, the cat box scooped out, and crayon washed off the walls... again.

So, because it's my goal to make my children's childhood memories simply filled with wonderful things, a fondness that they will look back on when they grow up and begin their own families, I get a little hyper-holiday-spirt around here. The baking, the decorating, the Christmas music, the table settings, the cinnamon and vanilla scented candles... all of it. (or, as much of it as possible).

Did you know if you mix a teaspoon of cinnonmon with a few tablespoons of vanilla extract, then pour it evenly onto a simple washcloth - you can lay that inside your heater vent, and fill the room with the most wonderful smell, everytime the furnace kicks in? If you love that scent, give it a try, you might be surprised when folks look around the room and say "wow, what is that I'm smelling!?". Scents are a wonderful memory-maker. (it works in air purifiers as well, just pour the mixture onto a cotton ball and set it inside the intake filter)

So my cleaning and baking begins today. I have a cookie recipe that I once entered into a contest at a local grocery store, that won first prize. $250 bucks in grocery store vouchers! I haven't made those cookies in years, so I'll be making those today. Plus my world famous candied walnuts, and a fresh apple pie. Gotta get all the baking done and out of the way ahead of time!

Have a great Monday!

Winter Cold Yuckies

Today is our annual trip to Barrie, for Christmas with the grandparents. And of course, I woke up with a head stuffed with itchy cotton.

I keep hearing about this alleged virus (which at this point I'm beginning to wonder if it's not some governmental experiment, lol) that seems to go away, then come back, then go away again, then come back. I'm begining to wonder if it's all in our heads, and we're just being nailed with one virus after another, instead of the same virus?

The symptoms vary from person to person, and are varied. Sore throat, cough, sneeze, head congestion, chest congestion, lethargy, headaches, body aches, etc. Twice this week, 4 of us lost our voices for a day or more, but now they're back, more or less. Some symptoms go away for a day, just to be replaced by others for a few days, and on it goes.

I know a lady in San Antonio Texas with the same exact symptoms (right down to the voice loss) that have been going on in this house for nearly 6 weeks now. And hers also "went away" then came back.

Kev says LOTS of people at his workplace have been stuggling through this for the last 2 months or more.

How about you & where you live, any of this sound familiar? I'm curious.

Just because

Whenever we have a family holiday, my mother-in-law and I are almost always busy with the cameras. I'm glad she brings her camera too, since she often gets shots that are just too much fun.

Here's a few of hers from today's fun:

Perseverance of a saint-in-training

Remember this post? One of my birthday gifts was this mouse, from my 8 yr old. I think there's a conspiracy going on here...

Eye, eye, eye...

The Toothless Fairy

Hey, I didn't get this double chin from dieting! Bring on the white-chocolate mousse cake!

3 of my children with their award winning smiles!

Lookie what I got!

Even though my actual birthday was last Monday, we didn't have my party until today. All the kids were here (minus my oldest, who had to work today) and my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Kev made his world famous burgers, and Jen made fries in the deep fryer. I haven't had any cake yet, I had a bit of a tummy issue after going hungry all day then eating one of Kev's amazing burgers. Anyway, LOOK at what Kim sent me! Now I ask, just how cool is that, eh?

I had a great birthday, thank you Kim, Kev, all my kids, Norma & sis-in-law Kim, and all of you who sent me well wishes on Monday! :-)

And for all of you wondering, I still don't know if I won in the photo contest, I haven't heard from them and they haven't yet posted the winning 3 pics.

But, if you wanted to see the rest of my birthday pics, you can see those here.

Dealing with a Schismatic

If you were walking down the street, and suddenly spotted a house engulfed in flames, knowing people were sleeping inside, what would you do?

a.) keep walking and consider it none of your business
b.) rush inside to rescue people?
c.) call 911 and then walk home and forget all about it
d.) none of the above
e.) I have no idea

Interesting dilema, eh?

I use that analogy due to a spiritual dilema several friends of mine have found themselves in as of late. There is a real live, genuine, dyed in the wool schismatic in their midst, and many others have no clue about this man's true character at all.

Some have suggested the "ignore him and he'll go away" approach. When I heard this, my first thought was "yes, he'll go away eventually - just to do this in another group of people - because this is what he does". Now imagine walking along a path in the desert Southwest, with a group of friends. Roughly 50 feet behind you is another group of friends walking together. Someone in your group notices a large, and very deadly rattlesnake on the path ahead. You all walk silently past it, and give no warning to the group behind you, approaching the snake. You might be safe, but you've just neglected a greater responsibility. That of the safety and well-being of your neighbors behind you. It is quite possible that snake that you just ignored, will strike and bite one of them. That, is not Christian conduct. That's apathy, in it's ugliest form.

Some would suggest this verse here as an appropriate course of action:

Pr 26:20 Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.

But that doesn't really apply to the ones being affected, by the one slandering, and backbiting - it applies to the slanderer him or herself. The talebearer, as used in this verse, is the one who feeds the fire. A lot of people (myself included in the past) will use this verse to say "well if you just don't pay any attention to the trouble, it will stop". Wrong. The trouble has to be removed, for the fire to go out. If you ignore a forest fire with hundreds of thousands of acres of fresh trees to feed it, does it go out all by itself? No, it spreads.

Okay, all my lame analogies out of the way, let's see what the Bible actually says about schismatics:

First of all, the Bible calls these people heretics. Not a casual term to be tossed around at leisure, as is so common today.

Titus 3:10 A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject; 11 Knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself.

The Bible is actually very clear on how we are to address people like this. A true heretic, one that causes strife and division, is to first be admonished (exhorted to repent) TWICE. (Just a side note here but I wonder if this is where we got the popular catch phrase "second chances"?). After the second time, if he does not change his wicked ways, we are to reject (refuse, decline, shun and/or avoid) him. Meaning - no fellowship, no friendship, no contact, no more interaction with him.

Does this mean we are to sweep his actions under the rug and not speak of them to others? No, it doesn't say that at all - it says have no dealings with the schismatic himself. The Bible is literally filled with instruction in exposing false teachings and teachers, so to reach so far as to say we should "ignore it and it will go away" is the absolute wrong approach. We are in fact to speak of them, and of their teachings, conduct, methods, etc., as to warn others so that they also will not be decieved by such things.

The verse goes on to say that we're to know that he that is such (a heretic) is subverted "ekstrepho" (twisted, perverted, corrupt), a sinner who is missing the mark, wandering from the path of uprightness and honor, and in so doing is condemned by his very own lifestyle.

These are harsh words - and they should be. It's not very often folks run into a genuine schismatic, but when they do there is a Biblical precedent to apply.

Now granted, I am no Bible scholar, and this brief little study could easily be expanded, but this is the Biblical approach to such things.

Did I Win?

The voting for this contest ended last night at midnight. The the top 13 pictures receiving the most votes per day, move into the "finalists" today, and the top 3 (based on merit) of those 13 will be selected as the 10grand winners (each).

The rules are vague, as it doesn't say if the 13 will be displayed on the page (I don't think they will), so I wont know if my pic (the one in the banner is the one I entered) made it, until they announce the winners (or I get the phone call they will make within 24 hours of selecting the top 3 today).

THANK YOU to all of you who voted for my pic, and went back and voted each day. If I do win, it's all because of you. If I don't win, it's all because of you, LOL. I'll know by Saturday at 3-ish, if I won or not.

The Perfectly-Innocent-Mystery-Children

I have two children in my house that I have never mentioned here. In fact, almost no one knows they exist in my home. These two children are very quiet, and suffer much false accusation from the other children that live here. In fact, every wrongdoing that they have ever been accused of, was a lie. They are... perfectly innocent children.

They have never done the following things:

Lied about anything
Taken anything that doesn't belong to them
Gotten into the fridge or cupboards
Left the back (or front, or side) doors open
Gotten into my makeup drawer
Taken paper from the printer tray
Left a mess in the game room, mud room, living room (or any other room)
Fought with their siblings
Left bikes or other toys in the driveway

The above list is just a partial list of the countless things these innocent children have been repeatedly accused of. They've been guiltless of them all. Every time.

At the same time, because these children are so quiet, and so reserved, they have also never done the following:

Said "I love you"
Apologized
Prayed
Asked me questions about Jesus, or the Bible
Draw a lovely picture
Helped with housework
Done a fantastic job in handwriting
Read without any help
Shovelled the drive without being asked
Hugged me
Sang "Joy to the World" without missing a line (or note)
Reluctuantly posed for yet another picture of "just the kids"

And so many other things, that the other children have done, and continue to do on a regular basis.

It's pretty easy to tell which children I'd really rather have in my home. My known children are far from perfect and innocent, but at least they contribute, laugh, pray, question, and make a house (albeit messy, most of the time) a home.

The ironic thing is, you know these innocent-mystery-children. I suspect they've visited your home, and at times seemed to be residing with you for weeks on end. Maybe even months, or years. You've talked about them to your friends and relatives, and your friends and relatives talk about them too! Oh yes, everyone knows these kids.

Their names? "I Don't Know" and his little sister "It Wasn't Me".

Falsely accused constantly of the crimes of the other children in the house, and while they never speak up to proclaim their innocence, they also never kiss me goodnight and say "night mom, I love you".

Don't expect to see them in any group shot of "just the kids" anytime soon.

Provision

You know, God's providential moving is truly amazing. You do realize this, yes?

Over the last 3-4 months our family has been in a peculiar situation that has not been easy to deal with. Through circumstances that were completely out of our control (but not out of His), our financial situation took a nose-dive of epic porportions.

It's been especially tough to deal with as winter approaches (approaches? we've got a foot of snow coming today, with 6 inches or so still on the ground and it's not even officially winter yet), and winter heating costs as well as other winter expenses (boots, gloves, coats, a small fortune in cold meds & extra vit C, etc.) all add into the mix.

I confess, more than a few times when I've gone over our family budget, I have not handled it well.

Part of the reason I write, is to get my thoughts out, go back and re-read them and critique my own ideas, my own theology, worries, etc. It's a simple tool for me to use to (hopefully) grow by. So this morning I determined to sit down here and write about this and what do I find? I find that Tim was also led to write on the very same topic this morning. He even expressed my own self-induced-stress-causer when he said this:

"And still I worried. It is only in more recent days that I came to see that I truly felt my worrying was somehow effectual. Effectual worrying: let me explain that term. Effectual means "Successful in bringing about a desired effect." It means "Producing or capable of producing an intended result or having a striking effect." I honestly believed that my worrying was somehow making the difference - that my worrying was bringing about the result of having enough money. If I were to stop worrying, I felt, the money would dry up. If I stopped making my little lists of assets and expenses, I would one day wake up to find out that our rent check had bounced. If I stopped worrying, God would surely stop providing. I truly believed that myworrying was effectual, bringing about what I desired."

I hate to worry, it serves no useful purpose whatsoever, unless you find anxiety, being edgy, preoccupied and short-tempered, admirable traits. I for one do not find anything appealing about those things, but often find myself displaying them, all the same.

Earlier this week I had a conversation with a friend about this, and later that night I felt horrible about it. I didn't express myself the way I wanted to, but instead came across (in my mind at least) as a whiner, a complainer, fretting about things that I can't change anyway. This truly does bother me about myself.

Because I'm a planner, a list keeper, an organizer... I set our family budget for several months ahead of time. I go over every number with a fine tooth comb and use the same form that I created years ago to see the actual numbers on paper. What's coming, when, how much do we have right now, what's due, when, how much is left and how long to we need to make that last? Each month's budget is split in two, income & bills due for the first pay period of the month, and the same for the second pay period. Columns & rows all neatly organized to facilitate an easy glance at the budget to see where everything should be.

Someone once said to me "I don't how you stretch what you have with THAT many kids!". This budget is the way we do that. That and obviously, God's provision.

I mentioned that because sometimes it's the biggest stress causer there is. Because things are so tight, we have to literally keep track of every dollar that comes in, and every dollar that goes out. If I slack off and forget to record an entry from our account, it can be disasterous come bill paying/account balancing time. This has happened more than once, partly due to being so busy with kids, housework, school, etc. Sometimes I just forget, and that lapse of memory can be pretty costly. It doesn't happen a lot, but it does happen.

I always pray before I do any of this. Before I check the accounts, or even open my binder where the budget forms are. Grace to deal with whatever the final line says (extra or short this payday?). Wisdom to direct every dollar, in the right amounts, to the right places, at the right time. Peace about the whole thing.

Sometimes I dread that it has to be this meticulous. It's just the way it is.

Some people might have as a dream vacation a lovely tropical island somewhere - my fantasy is to go to the grocery store without a list, without items marked on the list by price, and just buy stuff that we like, without any concern for cost. Lean ground beef instead of regular, and name brand ketchup instead of that nasty, watery stuff with the plain label. How pathetic is that? (for the record I am not whining, just doing a little self-indulgence in dream getaways).

But that isn't my life, and it's silly to even think about (for more than a second or two, anyway).

It's a catch-22 on the "effectual worrying" that Tim speaks of in his blog entry today. I have to be very careful with our budget, and I have to stay on top of it, but at the same time, sometimes it feels like I'm obsessing over it as if the more I re-work the numbers, some magical amount of money will appear out of nowhere. Funny thing is, that's actually happened a few times. Very few, but it does happen.

So why am I writing about this today? Partly because it's budget day and it's on my mind. Partly because Tim wrote about it too, and I loved his use of the term "effectual worrying". There is a fine line between "responsible attention to details" and thinking that the more you fret over something the sooner the something will change. Some find it odd that I'm the one that does the family budget, but it's not odd at all. God blessed me with the ability to work with numbers, and He did not bless Kev this same way. If Kev did the budget, we might be living out of the van at the Wal-Mart parking lot (his words). It's better this way.

So as I log off of here, go make the kid's breakfast, then send them up to the loft/playroom, I will sit down at the school table with my binder, calculator, coffee and freshly sharpened pencil. I will pray, and then open my binder. There will be no effectual worrying, in this house.

Lord willing, we will be able to finally go Christmas shopping tomorrow. We still haven't done that yet. If the budget doesn't allow for it, and if the foot of snow coming stops us, there will still be NO effectual worrying in this house.

Are we really that easily persuaded?

Yesterday, Tim posted the second part of his interview series with Sam Waldron and Wayne Grudem on the topic of continuatinism and cessationism. Yesterday's installment was part one of his interview with Grudem. Finally late last evening I was able to finish reading the interview and then read all the comments. A few things disturbed me there.

"Oh, he comes highly regarded and recommended by so-and-so, so he's credible!"

That seems to be the attitude of many people, regarding many other people - including Wayne Grudem. It's interesting to note how many people are so willing to base their opinion of another man's theology (no matter who it is, not just Grudem), based on someone ELSE's opinion, of another man's theology. I've noticed this time and time again, in various circles of theologians. If some of the "top names" in theological circles recommend someone, this person seems to be above scrutiny and don't you DARE come out publicly in disagreement with them, or you'll be the whipping boy for his fans/supporters.

Whatever happened to being a Berean? You know, comparing a man's theology to Scripture, and seeing for yourself (not based on anyone else's opinion), if what he teaches is supported by the Word?

It would seem that we live in a time where all it takes to have your theology widely accepted, is a stamp of approval by this theological seminary, or that popular theologian, and you're in! It also seems that if you're one of those people that says "wait a minute, THAT endorsement is not good enough for me, let's look a little closer at this man's theology", you're the bad guy for daring to question the theological elite, and who they recommend.

All of this reminds me so much of my time in the AoG church in the mid 90's. You didn't dare voice your concerns there about what was going on (no matter how many people people did the Holy Ghost leap-frog in the sanctuary), because if you did, YOU were the one weak in faith, doubting God, questioning God, questioning authority, and on dangerous ground my friend. Holy laughter, being slain the spirit and laying on the floor of the sanctuary for 3 hours or more. Speaking in tongues, barking, twitching, weeping, growling, visions, dreams, prophecies, flapping ones arms like a bird and making chicken sounds, bellowing out random Bible verses that had no context whatsoever, and more. Don't you dare question these manifestations young believer, because if you do, you question the very Holy Spirit Himself and are in danger of committing the unpardonable sin!!

It was emotional/spiritual blackmail. You either get on board and accept it, and agree with it, or you're on the outside, bubba.

I see the same concept going on in 'reformed/calvinist' circles these days. It is rather disturbing to me.

Is there a way to voice your concerns without being labelled an extremist, or an alarmist? Probably, but the label will get slapped on you anyway. You're going against what seems to be the norm, and anyone doing that is going to be taken to task (and usually by people with a larger library than yours, and far more education than you, and you better know they're going to let you know about it, in a not-so-subtle, insulting, condescending fashion).

If I like Dr. What's His Name, and he's endorsed by Random School of Theology, which also endorses Pastor So and So, then they're all good, all solid in theology, and don't you DARE question the good doctor, the school, anyone connected to them, or the pastor. If you do, you either a.) don't read your Bible or know jack-diddly about theology, b.) are an idiot with inferior education, c.) are an alarmist being led by your emotions rather than reason and logic, or d.) any combination of the above.

Have we forgotten that we're speaking of fallible men, here?
Have we elevated these men so high, that we don't dare question anything they say, teach or write?
Are we that concerned with being in the theologically-popular clique, that we don't dare rock the boat or tip any sacred cows?
Are we doing exactly the thing I wrote about last week, and Steve Camp wrote about last week, where we just wink and give a pass to these guys, no matter what?
Whatever happened to having one's doctrine tested by the Word, and being accountable?
Are we really that easily persuaded by the majority opinion in our own theological camp?

As usual, I have more questions than answers. I'm bothered by what I see and read in many theological circles, and whenever I bring it up, I'm often labelled "controversial" or alarmist. Exactly the same way I was labelled when I began to question my pastor in the AoG church about all the "manifestations" going on there. It wasn't long before I was "outside the camp" in that setting, and shunned by the most vocal proponents of the charismatic movement in our denomination. Of course, once the big names shunned me, the rest of the folks there did too.

Interesting how this works. Interesting who isn't dare questioned, and why.

I prefer being a Berean, no matter what label that earns me.

Frame on the Resurrection

I posted a question the other day regarding the resurrection, and what one must believe as a part of the gospel, to be saved.

In that post I mentioned that Dr. John Frame had allegedly made a statement (posted at a website) that supports the belief that one does not have to know of, or believe in the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, to be a Christian. I use the word allegedly, because I didn't know first hand if the statement was in fact his, or not.

Many of my readers contacted me and suggested I contact him, and ask him to verify the statement. I did that, and with his permission here is the email exchange with Dr. John Frame:

Dear Dr. Frame, you have been quoted, making this
statement:

"Is it possible to be saved without knowing about the Resurrection of Christ? Sure. There were lots of Jewish believers in the first century who needed to be informed of the Resurrection by the apostolic proclamation. (Think of the people who "knew only the baptism of John.") I've no reason to believe that they were all unregenerate before they knew that Jesus was risen. So today, there may be people in whose hearts God is working, who haven't been taught the full truth about Christ. They may even profess that Christ is Lord, without knowing that the Resurrection is specifically physical. But when told in a godly way, they will eventually accept the truth."

Can you confirm that you hold to this position and did in fact make this statement Also, can you reconcile this statement with Romans 10:9?

I'd be very interested to hear your response to this. I recently wrote about this, and some friends encouraged me to contact you directly but I didn't have your email address until now. I look forward to your response and will amend my article accordingly, with your response (with your permission of course).

In Him,
Carla Rolfe

------------

Dr. Frame's reply:

Dear Carla, I may well have said this. But if I were publishing a comment on this issue, I would want to make more qualifications.

The point is that regeneration and salvation did not begin with the coming of Jesus. There were regenerate believers before the incarnation—Abraham, David, Simeon, Elizabeth, Anna, et al. Now although the Resurrection of Jesus is implicit in OT prophecy, it is not explicit. Did Abraham know in advance that Jesus of Nazareth would be killed and raised again? Certainly he believed in a God who was able to raise the dead, and his experience in Gen. 22 certainly confirmed that. But I don’t think Abraham had explicit faith that Jesus would be raised from the dead.

Now after the Resurrection, it was not the case that all old covenant believers suddenly became fully self-conscious new covenant believers. It took some time for the message of the Resurrection to get around. If an old covenant believer (say, in India) died before he heard of Jesus’ resurrection, was he thereby condemned to Hell? I doubt it.

How do I reconcile this with Rom. 10:9? Paul is writing to believers, assuring them that they are saved because they have confessed that Jesus is Lord and believed that God has raised him from the dead. He is not commenting on the kinds of people I mentioned above. Certainly you cannot derive from this statement that, say, Abraham, is not saved because he did not confess Jesus as Lord and believe that God had (would) raise him from the dead.

I also believe (with the Westminster Confession 10.3) that infant children can be regenerated and saved apart from any explicit confession. Rom. 10:9 is not talking about them. Nor is it talking about those the Confession calls “other elect persons who are incapable of being outwardly called by the ministry of the Word.”

So explicit confession is not a general rule for everyone. But Paul certainly is saying that if you do make an explicit confession of Christ and the Resurrection you will be saved.

Blessings, John Frame

So there you have it. "So explicit confession is not a general rule for everyone." Now, clearly I disagree with Dr. Frame on this, but I wanted to be sure this position was in fact truthfully his, and he has stated that it is.

Dr. Frame uses the OT saints and their faith, and the elect infants section of the WCF to say that professing belief (or any knowledge of) in the resurrection is not required to be saved.

I brought this subject up last night #prosapologian and more than a few people had some pretty interesting insights on this subject. I wish I could have saved some of the quotes. Maybe some of them will repeat what they said last night, here in the comment section?

Knives make me happy :-)

What a great (and exhausting) day we had. We went to the tree farm, then to Caryn's for lunch. She surprised me by NOT getting me anything for my village! Instead, she gave me a lovely cake serving set, and a gravy boat that I desperately needed. Now, do I always look this happy when holding knives? Hmm... well, you can see the rest of the pics here if you'd like.

Birthday Reflections

Welcome to my own little personal time capsule. This is what I do every year on my birthday. Someone I know once said "never forget where you came from", and I took that advice literally. Looking back (for me) has this humbling affect, as it reminds me how much He has changed me.

For whatever reason, last night as I was falling asleep my thoughts drifted backward in increments of 5 years.

5 years ago today: we were still living in the city, Samuel was just 3 months old, and Ruth wasn't even a part of our lives yet. Had someone told me I would have yet another baby (at that time) I would have sued them for undo emotional stress.

10 years ago today: I was on a flight to NYC. I was involved in a federal case against an online stalker, and once he was arrested the media went nuts over it. A nationally televised talk show in NYC requested an interview and after consulting with the agents & others involved in the case, I agreed to do the show. It was my first time on an airplane. A friend from church looked after the girls for the 2 days I was gone.

15 years ago today: We were living in my mom's house in WA state (renting it from her) and life was as blissful as an unsaved person's life could be. We had one of the biggest snowstorms our county had seen since 1965, and for the first time in 25 years, I had snow for my birthday. We had no way of knowing that only 2 months later our lives would be torn apart by the news of Ben's terminal cancer.

20 years ago today: My first birthday at the new in-law's house. My mother-in-law baked the most delicious chocolate cake I'd ever had in my life.

25 years ago today: For some reason, all my friends had "other plans" that night, and expected I'd be sitting home alone, moping. I got a call from a kid from school, inviting me to a little birthday party for his cousin. I felt slighted, and like no one cared about MY birthday, but my mom encouraged me to go. I walked the few blocks to the house, and when I got there, all my friends jumped out with a "surprise!".

As I layed there last night thinking about how easy it is for me to remember specific events of years gone by, this verse in James popped into my head:

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. (James 4:14)

If I lived for another 50 years, I'd have a headful of memories and details. I could write page after page after page of events, ideas, sorrows, tragedies, successes and joys, and all sorts of other things. However, in the grand scheme of things, in the larger picture of eternity, life (and my life) is but a vapor, as James states.

Why is this important to know? I think in part it's important to know so that we don't get filled up with arrogance about how important we might think we are. Indeed there have been smarter women, more creative women, more humble, godly women that have lived and died long before I ever came along, and the vast majority of the world population would never know who they are, or what they did.

When I first started a blog in April of 2003, it was sporadic at best. I wasn't sure I wanted to maintain one, along with all the other online things I was involved with at the time. A couple of months later a friend of mine also started a blog and he said something in his very first entry that just lept off the screen for me. He said his reason for doing it was so that years later, Lord willing, his infant son might be able to see his father's footprints on the web. Where he was spiritually at the time, how he grew, and what he believed, from his own writings. His intention was simply to leave a public legacy for his son. That really touched me. And motivated me.

When I became a widow at 30 years old, that experience catapulted me from the "oh that only happens to other people" category, into the "it certainly can happen to you too" category. In one painfully blinding moment, I was torn from being innocent of this experience, to being someone who understood too well, that death comes at any age.

I know my life is a vapor. I know that I will leave this earth at the exact appointed time by the Father. That could be today, or next year, or 5o years from now. No one knows the hour of his final moment here, but we all know we have one coming.

I don't know how technology will change over the next decade, or century, but I do know that as young as this modern technology is now, I can easily go back and find things I wrote, still online, back in 1994. In some ways it's embarassing to read my own words as an unbeliever, but in a more significant way it's good. I see the fingerprints of God's grace on my life, looking at those writings.

I hope that technology continues to marvel us, and the words I write today will still be readable to my grandkids, or great-grandkids, or great-great-grandkids long after my vapor has vanished. I hope they might read the things I've written about the grace of God, the importance of standing firm in your faith, and maybe even my grandma's recipe for applesauce. I will never get to know these people that will come after me, but it's my hope that they will at least get to know a little bit about me, and what I believed. This is my own legacy, to them.

Today, we're going to the tree farm to cut down our tree. We'll stop in at the barn and get some complimentary apple cider and gingerbread cookies, and there will be plenty of "oohs" and "ahhs" at all the pretty, handmade gift items for sale at the gift shop. When we leave there, we'll head to Caryn's house for hot chocolate and sandwiches. She has insisted I open my birthday presents from her, while I'm there, since she works and can't come to my birthday party on Saturday. So I get to have 2 birthdays this year! (I already know she bought me something to add to my Christmas village, but it's always exciting to see what new additions show up every year).

I expect it to be a wonderful day, even though Kev, Jordan and Ruth are sick with this awful virus. There's something about visiting the tree farm every year, that tends to make us forget about pesky little things like coughs, and runny noses.

God is so good to us.

Do you agree with this?

I just have to wonder.

Earlier this year, I got into a rather bizarre situation when I challenged a web-celebrity on his statement re: Christians and the resurrection of Christ. In a nutshell, he said he was saved for 2 years before he ever knew Jesus physically rose from the dead. This person stressed no less than three times, that he did not know Christ actually rose from the dead, for those first two years. He was trying to make a point about how many Christians are rather ignorant of a lot of Biblical doctrine when they are new to the faith - so he used his own early Christian testimony of his ignorance of the resurrection, to do that.

When I initially heard this statement (among a large group of witnesses that also heard it), the first verse of Scripture that came to mind was this one:

Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

My position was this: if a man confesses that he does/did not know Christ rose from the dead, how then can that man say that he believes it in his heart?

He can't. It's impossible - if you have no knowledge of something, you certainly can't believe it in your heart. Romans 10:9 is very clear on this - you have to believe in your heart that Jesus rose again, it's absolutely critical to the Christian faith.

When this person was challenged on this, his statement changed to say that he did know, and did believe, but just didn't know how Christ rose. Which makes no sense, since the reason he first denied knowledge of it was to make a profound point - that changing the statement to say "I just didn't know how" would not support. Either way...

This brings me to something else I wonder about.

I've noticed lately that many people are quoting or mentioning John Frame. I confess I don't know much of anything about him, except what I hear other people say. The reason I mention Frame, is because this person I mentioned earlier actually went to Frame for support of his position on "not knowing" about Christ's resurrection (before he changed his public statement to later say he just didn't know how Christ rose). According to this person's site, Frame responded to him with this:

"Is it possible to be saved without knowing about the Resurrection of Christ? Sure. There were lots of Jewish believers in the first century who needed to be informed of the Resurrection by the apostolic proclamation. (Think of the people who “knew only the baptism of John.”) I’ve no reason to believe that they were all unregenerate before they knew that Jesus was risen. So today, there may be people in whose hearts God is working, who haven’t been taught the full truth about Christ. They may even profess that Christ is Lord, without knowing that the Resurrection is specifically physical. But when told in a godly way, they will eventually accept the truth. "

I have a couple of issues with this.

First, if this is true, then Romans 10:9 isn't.

Secondly, this implies that the Holy Spirit can regenerate a heart via the proclamation of a gospel that NEVER mentions a risen Christ?

Maybe I'm just real dense here, but I don't get it. If a man is born again by the preaching of the word, this statement appears to be saying that it's possible for a gospel to preached that makes no mention of the resurrection. Which to me, is no gospel at all.

While I certainly do agree that there may be people in whose hearts the Lord is at work right now, that do not have the full truth about Christ - I cannot say that these people are born again. How can they be? They don't believe in the resurrection because they don't KNOW about it, so how does Romans 10:9 apply to them?

Look again at this statement: "They may even profess that Christ is Lord, without knowing that the Resurrection is specifically physical".

How does that line up with faith in the person and the work of the Lord Jesus? Who He is, why He came, and His victory over death, hell and the grave?

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.

Can a person be born again, regenerated, and a true believer, without ever knowing (knowing to believe) that Jesus was physically raised from the dead?

People that will likely never confess their Elf name

• James White: Zippy Crazy-Legs (and since he’s been bicycling, this is most appropriate!)
• Phil Johnson: Bijou Fluffy-Paws (what’s a bijou?)
• Tim Challies: Tinker Tum-Tums (awww, isn’t that cute?)
• Frank Turk: Wacky Sparkly Toes (exactly what I would have named him!)
• Adrian Warnock: Buttons Floppy-Feet (I hope his British humour appreciates this!)
• Albert Mohler: Chipper Crazy-Legs (do they allow elves in the south?)
• Marla Swoffer: Daffy Bubba-Louie (well, she IS in California…)
• Steve Camp: Bijou Floppy-Feet (I still don’t know what a bijou is)
• Scott McClare: Daffy Angel-Pants (the only one that really did make me “lol” for real)
• Chuck Badia: Zippy Tum-Tums (he is rather zippy, I must say)
• Nina: Tinker Twinkle-Toes (and she thought she was a Norweigan Troll!)
• Matt Gumm: Zippy Candy-Lips (get it, Gumm – candy? Mmhmmm)
• Marc Heinrich: Peppermiz Floppy-Feet (we knew he was original!)
• Daniel: Dingy Floppy-Feet (a lot of these guys are from the same family, apparently)
• Ian Clary: Puddin Sparkly-Toes (lol… puddin… lol)
• David Kjos: Nipper Mistletoe (the second one that made me lol for real)
• Doug McHone: Snooky Bed-Head (maybe he needs a comb for Christmas?)
  
  And NOW you know who these folks REALLY are. In Elf-World.
  
  
  

Evidence of my graceful nature...

Last night, I did one of the most dumb things I've done in a long time. Do you remember the Dean Martin/Jerry Lewis movies? Do you remember how Jerry Lewis' character (in almost any of the movies) was the bumbling, fumbling type? How about Barney Fife? Okay, now follow along.

Well...

Last night when I went upstairs to check on one of the kids that had a fever, I noticed that someone had locked the bathroom door, from the inside. It's got a weird lock, that you can unlock from the outside if happen to have a penny close-by. We usually keep a penny on the ledge of the door frame just in case of events like this.

I was in a hurry to get the door unlocked and get some towels, so I quickly unlocked the door and pushed it open. Now this door is the kind that slides horizontally into the wall to the left of the frame (I hate this door), and sometimes if you don't push it in straight, it bounces back a few inches. In my haste to get into the bathroom, I didn't realize I hadn't pushed the door in straight, and sure enough, it bounced back and I noticed it too late. I noticed it just about the time I was attempting to enter the doorway, and the door met with my left forearm and shoulder with a loud CRACK. This was one of those impacts that cause you to suddenly express intense pain in a long dead, ancient language, that even Mel Gibson can't figure out.

As I'm standing in the bathroom yodeling in heiroglyphics, I hear Kev in the other room...

"you okay?"

Now mind you, Kevin is a smart man. He's well studied, and a very good observer of character in people. However, when your wife is wailing in a foreign language in the middle of the bathroom, it's a good bet that she's "not okay". So I answered back "no I'm not okay, I just ripped my arm off, but hey don't you worry about me, I've got another one!".

And this is why, they only let me carry my bullet in my shirt pocket.

Cheerful Floppy-Feet

I saw this at Rebecca's last night, then again at Kim's today. I was going to do it last night but I got sidetracked. I was never into the whole Santa thing, but I've always thought elves were cool.

Maybe we could start up The League of Reformed Elves?

Christmas Elf Name My Christmas Elf Name is Get your Christmas Elf Name at JokesUnlimited.com

What a day...

Well, I think I'm done editing this template. The big changes, anyway. I may still do some font tweaking & small things like that, but overall I'm done. For now. Until I get bored with this one. :-) (for those of you who suggested I check the page in both IE and Firefox... I don't have Firefox, so I can't check it that way. If you are using it, please leave me a message and let me know if it views properly now?)

Ever have one of "those" days, that ends up turning into one of THOSE days? Yeah, me too. Today was one.

I've been medicating & cleaning up after kids all day. That was after I spent about 3 hours shovelling a foot (and deeper drifts) of snow from our driveway, and ended up making myself so sore I can hardly move. I am exhausted, and may end up being in ER with at least one kid tonight. Please keep us in prayer?

Recent Comments in Sidebar

Bear with me a little longer as I completely tweak this new template. I've never done this before, so this could be interestingly humorous.

Strike the notice below... I've messed around with the template so much I've messed it UP. Please ignore the rotten formatting, I'll have it fixed soon, I hope.

You may have noticed I've added a short list of recent comments, to the sidebar. I've wanted this option here for a while now but wasn't sure how to put it there. I saw the little tool at Frank's (don't tell Frank, he'll call me a copycat, then I'll have to call him a name, then he'll blog about me, then I'll have to design a cooler T than him, and it'll just never end, I tell ya!) and decided to check it out for myself this morning. I think I'd like the font smaller but I like the way it looks all the same.

I'm seriously considering a complete and total redesign of this blog... so stay tuned, it could get ugly for a while.

Granting a Pass

I mentioned previously that there is a topic I want to address that might not be so well received. I'd like to try to piece a few things together that have caused me to really take a hard look at this. A hard look at something I didn't exactly want to deal with in the first place.

Several months ago, I noticed something that I had never noticed before. I don't know if I was just not paying attention before that time, or if I had just never had the opportunity to be made aware of this particular issue. What issue is that?

The good ole boy club. Maybe there's a better phrase for it, I don't know. That's the only phrase that comes to mind. Without going into a lot of detail, within just a few days of each other, 2 men of the sovereign grace faith made statements about what they believe in certain areas, that were as unbiblical as could be. When folks heard what they'd said, at first they had the same reaction that I did. That reaction was basically "wow, this is crazy". As time went on though, more and more people (men, mostly) found ways to excuse these men's statements, and simply brush it under the rug. It wasn't that big of a deal to them, and their friendship & fellowship with these men was more important than the outrageous claims these men made. For the record, these were claims about soteriology that were not Biblically accurate in any way. Part of the reason it was such an issue, is because both of these men are rather influential in their own right, and are considered teachers and/or mentors.

A few folks who were present at the beginning, and who have stayed up to date on this issue throughout, are still shaking their heads in unbelief at the way things turned out. I'm one of them still shaking my head.

Recently, Steve Camp put up an article about double standards. Camp subtitled his article "...the abomination of differing weights and measures" and then began his article by saying "This Has Got to be Said". I would simply encourage you to read the full article, since I'm only going to give you the bottom line of it here. The bottom line is basically the same thing I addressed in the first part of this entry - those that sweep things under the rug for the sake of fellowship and friendship. Although Camp made it more pointed. He mentions how we (those of our camp) point out errors or conduct of those in the other camp, but when one of our own do the same thing, we excuse it, justify it, and/or just turn our heads. This is the exact same thing that happened in the recent incident that I was involved in.

Recently, a couple of friends of mine have been looking into a few different ministries. In their research they came across what (at least on the surface) appears to be some pretty disturbing connections. While these ministries (and the leaders of them) appear to be solid in their doctrine, they are affiliated with and link to (online) other ministries that most of my readers here would consider anything but "solid" in doctrine. The question begs, why are they connected to these other ministries? How is this explained, or reasoned away?

Friendship, unity, and fellowship. It seems a pretty common thing these days to find a lot of ecuminism in the evangelical camp. And ecuminism defended, for the sake of ecuminism.

And that brings me to the reason I felt compelled to write about this. Double standards, blatant hypocrisy, and ecumenism at the cost of sound doctrine and solid teaching. Add to that, accountability issues for those involved in this, that are considered leaders and pillars of the evangelical community.

If you were hoping that I would name names at this point, you can rest assured that's not going to happen. I don't want to do that for 2 reasons.

1. Distance.

I don't know these ministry leaders well enough, and could never get a one on one opportunity to ask them to explain themselves for me to present a solid case "against" any of them. Unlike the leaders of the emerging church phenomena, these men I refer to don't have tons and tons of essays, blogs, and self-defense material online that I could simply point out and say "see, this is from their own pen, this is what they believe and why". They simply align themselves with whoever they choose, and make no effort to explain why, except in a few cases where they might have a statement published somewhere about not letting non-essentials divide fellowship. In many of these cases the "non-essentials" are on soteriology, and are HUGE issues, that I personally see as foundational, and critical to be in agreement on, IF there is to be any solid fellowship to begin with!

Sure, I could email them and ask, but I've actually emailed some of these same men before on different issues, and not one of them ever wrote back. I understand they're busy, so that's not a big deal. The point is, emailing them would be my only contact and they don't respond that way.

2. Personal.

I don't really have any desire to present a solid case against these men to begin with. Not personally, anyway. Some of these people I'm referring to are those I highly admire, and have read a lot of their work. I don't feel the need to name them by name and launch some kind of blog-campaign against them. It's not a personal issue (I don't think, anyway) so I don't see the benefit of getting personal by naming them. And it would get personal, that's just the way it tends to turn out, no matter how much folks say they want to address the ISSUE and not the character of the people involved.

My goal in writing about this is to bring our attention to the fact that it's going on. It appears there is a massive amount of lack of discernment among evangelicals. It's disturbing, and I'm not the only one that notices it. Obviously Steve Camp notices it, or he wouldn't have written this (his reference to "above" was in a hypothetical example of what happens when someone like Rick Warren does or says something outrageous or unBiblical):

"When one of "our guys" does the exact same thing as mentioned above, it is "understood" that we are to give them a pass, remain quiet, look the other way, only deal with it in private, don't mention their names publicly, not to say anything if you haven’t contacted them first, and even edit out content from recorded material to protect their image, persona for fear of making them an enemy. And why? Because they're "one of us" and deserve to be glossed over. When those in "our evangelical club" agree on the essentials theologically and are politically beholding to one of "our guys" then the consensus is, they shouldn’t be challenged publicly - just give them "a wink and a nod" and forget about it. But if you do challenge them publicly about something they've said in the public marketplace as a good Berean should (Acts 17:10-11), holding them to the same biblical standard they applauded you for when you took on those on the other side of the theological aisle, then you are deemed as unloving, unkind, and un-Christlike. And here is the justification I am told all the time: "Steve, there are so few guys out there that really understand the issues biblically, why nit pick at one of "our guys" because they maybe went off-base on a certain issue. And besides they're "one of us." Better to just keep quiet and let them work it out privately. Cut them some slack and remove the post from your blog - yada... yada... yada." " (source)

Now obviously I'm no Steve Camp, and cannot "challenge" these guys publically like he could, were he so inclined to do so. Not to mention, I'm a nobody. Who would listen? My credibility is basically unknown, so what would it matter what I would say anyway? Add to all that, I'm not nearly as educated in all points of doctrine like many of these folks are, and they could easily tie me into a doctrinal pretzel without much effort, even IF what I was saying was right, and they were in the wrong. And what I am saying IS right, but I couldn't ever debate it with anyone, that's not my field nor my gift.

Steve's point is the point I wish to echo here. "When those in "our evangelical club" agree on the essentials theologically and are politically beholding to one of "our guys" then the consensus is, they shouldn’t be challenged publicly - just give them "a wink and a nod" and forget about it.".

While this certainly does appear to be the expected conduct, I simply cannot adhere to it. We're not supposed to adhere to it, and play favorites (being a respecter of persons) just because someone is in "our camp".

Another biggie these days seems to be evangelicals gushing with ecumenical glee toward anyone who speaks of Jesus and spiritual things. Not just the "big name ministries" but average Joe Christians from all over the place.

It's interesting how, as I've been drafting this there have been a few different blogging/forum incidents that reflect this very thing. The more recent example was the misunderstanding/lack of discernment that played out in Sallie's "Blogs of Beauty" contest. You can read more about that at Sallie's. I won't comment further on it, as Marla has already done a fine job of pointing out what I know many were already thinking. I know I was one of them that found myself reading my own thoughts on Marla's blog.

Phil Johnson this evening, took on another angle in this arena. The warning he gave (directed at HS moms) was this one:

"Christian homeschoolers need to guard diligently against allowing their movement to become just one more vehicle for the kind of ecumenism that surrenders vital distinctives of classic Christianity while making unholy alliances in the name of impacting the culture, upholding high moral standards, opposing secularism, or whatever."

I suggest removing "Christian homeschoolers" and inserting the name of the ministry you're involved with, or the organization, or your church. See if this warning doesn't apply there. If it doesn't, then praise God you're in a solid group of people that have some serious doctrinal backbone and the wherewithall to proclaim the truth without compromise. Consider yourself extremely blessed. You're in the minority of believers.

What Steve pointed out about double standards is quite fitting for some of the ecumenical garbage I see going on lately. Yes, I said garbage. It's hypocrisy, even if unwitting hypocrisy.

Folks will get their bloomers in a bunch over this group or that movement embracing Mormons, or Roman Catholics, but then they themselves turn right around and link to an Eastern Orthodox site, or are connected in some other way to other movements or groups such as Third Wavers.

How does that work? How can someone be taken seriously as a credible source of Biblical wisdom and discernment, when they link to/fellowship with/share conference platforms with a highly questionable (at best) or blatantly heretical (at worst) teacher, or group?

I've said it before here at this blog and I will say it again. Most of are you are familiar with Dr. James White of Alpha and Omega ministries. If you know who he is, you know that him sharing a pulpit with a Roman Catholic apologist at an ecumenical-inter-faith-love-in seminar, would be simply out of the question. Why? Because it would be crossing the line to compromise what he believes and teaches, to then turn around and buddy-up with the very teachers of the false doctrine he exposes. It would make NO SENSE to do it, and it would damage his credibility in some pretty huge ways.

And yet, that's exactly what's going on in the larger picture of evangelicals. If you didn't notice it when the pope died, you were in a coma.

This goes FAR beyond just being careful as bloggers, who we link to. Far beyond. This is becoming more and more common with some of the most influential evangelical ministries in operation today. And they all (of the ones doing this) seem to have a justification for affiliating themselves with whoever they're affiliating with. At the end of the day though, I sit here and shake my head in disappointment.

As I said earlier, I don't want to name names. All that would do is cause a person to go on the defensive if I name someone you highly admire. Then the debate would start and the point would be completely lost in the heat of the debate. I don't want that to happen, so I'm not naming names of who's in the good-ole-boy club, who's dropping standards on the ecumenism front, and who seems to have lost their discernment on these things.

What I will do however, is strongly encourage you to start keeping a sharp eye out for these very things. It's been going on for a while now, but just in the last year or so it's become more and more prevelant. Even involving ministries I never thought would cave in to such things. Involving some ministries I highly respect and admire as well. And I can't defend them. And I wont.

I hope this is received in the spirit it was written in. Love for His church.

Scripscenes Holiday Giveaway

Thank you all for entering in our very first giveaway!

All of your entries were tossed into a hat (yep, a literal hat) and after much rolling and shuffling of all the entries, Kev (my husband) drew the winning entry.

Without further delay, our very first Scripscenes Giveaway Winner is........

Tim Challies!

Congrats to Tim, and thank you all for entering.

Can you help?

Several years ago I picked up a book at a yard sale. One of those kind that had 8billion books for 25 cents a piece. I saw this book (pics below) and after a very brief peek inside, bought it.

Now I need your help. The author's name is Hugh T. Kerr. I did a search for him at google, but the dates are all wrong (unless Hugh was 5 when he wrote this book). As you'll see the copyright date is 1911, and his church (he was the pastor) was Fullerton Avenue Presbyterian Church, Chicago IL. I did a search for that too, and came up empty. Well, more or less. I did learn that the church was established in 1864 and through a series of merges over the years is now Lincoln Park Presbyterian.

So who is this man? What did he believe? In the back of the book there are recommendations for other Sunday School books for teachers, seperated into different categories. I don't recognize any of the names. At the very end of the book, is a category for recommendations on books about the Prohibition, so I'm guessing the copyright date of 1911 was when this book was written (since lobbying for the Prohibition was in full swing at that point). The two books recommended are Alcohol and the Human Race by Richmond Pearson Hobson, and The Maine Law by Ernest Gordon.

Surely there must be a historian-genius that reads this blog? Or maybe someone real handy with google?

Here are the pics I took this morning - you'll have to click to enlarge them. (why do I suddenly feel like Marc from Purgatorio?) Anyway... looking forward to some collective wisdom from the coolest blog-readers out there. No, not Frank's readers, MINE! Pffft...

Did you know this?

Did you know if you write about Air marshal, Nicole Richie, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Xbox 360, Nguyen, Skype, Narnia or Xbox, your stats will allegedly sore through the ceiling? It's true. According to folks who seem to know this stuff.

Did you also know that MOST Christian blogs avoid all of those topics on a daily basis?

So here's my test post.

Air Marshall: hmmm... no comment.
Nicole Richie: and someone tell me again why she is newsworthy?
Brad Pitt: desperately needs a shower, and a few morals.
Jennifer Aniston: and someone tell me again why she is newsworthy?
Xbox 360: overpriced pong.
Nguyen: who?
Skype: what?
Narnia: the special fx look astounding - the hype over it's Christian message is overplayed.
Xbox: slightly less overpriced pong.

There ya go. Out of curiousity I did a test post on the so-called top "hot blogging topics". I'll compare my stats to last Friday and see if it's true. And then I'll go back to posting what matters to me and pretend this never happened.
:-)

Time for oatmeal - and our LAST day of school before Christmas break. Oh yes... I will enjoy this time off.

Friday Misc.

Well, the giveaway for my store officially closed at midnight last night. The drawing will be held this evening, and the winner contacted via email & announced here, as well as at the giveaway site. Thank you to all of you who entered, that was a lot of fun. It was interesting to see who did enter, and don't ask me because I will never tell. :-) (If you're the winner, please contact me ASAP for a speedy order to arrive by Christmas!)

The "you be the teacher" poll also closed today, and that was also very interesting. Here's how it breaks down:


• Flunk that rebellious child! 47.2%
• I'd give her an A+ for effectively communicating! 27.8%
• I'd give her a B 16.7%
• Maybe a C 5.6%
• Just barely pass her with a D 2.8%

total votes: 36

As Jessica and I agreed, your final vote was the deciding factor. I had decided before I ever put the poll up, that she would be re-doing this assignment anyway. I'll be printing off all your comments for her to read as a preparation for this assignment today. Thanks for all your thoughts, this will help her I'm sure. It will also confirm for her that nearly all grownups are mean and agree with her mother on these things. Good work folks! ;-)

I've started the article I alluded to previously. It's going to be long, and it's my hope it causes us all to take a very hard look at the nature of evangelicism today, and the use of wise discernment.

That's all for now - Friday Funny Bone later on today, Lord willing.

Have a great Friday!

My Friend Geordie

I received a phone call earlier this evening from a friend named Geordie. This is a dear older sister in the Lord that I haven't seen for a long time. When I first moved here to Ontario, Kev and I used have a weekly Bible study in her home. We kept this up for several years, until we moved out here to the country. We tried to keep it up then too, but it was too hard to rush the kids off to bed early then drive the 40 minutes to town for the study. I've missed those studies and our fellowship with Geordie and her husband Harold.

Geordie is getting on in years, and she's had numerous, very serious health problems. Her most recent was a bout with the flu, that has left her completely exhausted. When I say completely, I mean she cannot even muster up the energy to clean house, or do other daily things that she's accustomed to being able to do. She's home-bound now, and for all intents and purposes she's also bedridden. She has no one to help her except her husband, and he does what he can.

The reason she called tonight was not to tell me about her health problems, but to ask about Kevin. She heard the name of his company mentioned on the news tonight, and she was worried that he was one of the 45 people that were layed off. (Last we heard it was 35, so they've apparently let more go.)

Geordie's nephew also works there, and works the same shift as Kev, and she hadn't heard from him, so she was worried.

We had a good conversation. I told her that as far as I know Kev's job is safe (at least for now) and that her nephew was also not one of the ones that were let go. She shared with me some things about her family and how fast her great-grandkids were growing, and how she's really tired of battling illness and just wants to be Home for Christmas. It brought a sting of tears to my eyes to hear her say that, but I understood what she meant. She said she's not able to "have Christmas" this year, and this will be a first for her. She's run a good race for a very long time, and she's tired now.

Dealing with chronic pain or illness is very stressful, and very trying. I'm sure others have it worse than I do, but I have it all the same, and there have been some days in years gone by that I have literally, physically cried out to the Lord "please take it away!". And He doesn't. I have good days and I have really bad days, but it's never gone completely. Folks say it builds character... I think it just makes folks bitter. It's hard to fight that. It's hard knowing when you wake up every day, you will have to fight it.

I watched my first husband gradually deteriorate for nearly 5 years, before he was ultimately strapped to a bed in a terminal psych-ward of the hospital. His illness slowly and painfully had robbed him of his clarity of mind, and reasoning skills. Thankfully the Lord was gracious to not let that last for too long.

In my short (almost) 41 years I've seen and experienced chronic pain and chronic illness. It really does make Heaven sound even more wonderful than it already does. Ironically today as I was driving home from running errands my thoughts did turn to Heaven, and what it might be like to experience no more pain, illness, sorrow and fear. We simply cannot imagine that freedom from this body of death we drag around every day. The closest I came today was a split second memory of my early childhood - but even then I had bouts of severe stomach cramps (hernia), so even from the time I was little, I've never known complete freedom from pain, or illness.

For purely selfish reasons, I told Geordie I hope it's the Lord's will she recover fully and live another 20 years or more - but if His will is indeed to take her Home, as she's ready for that, then what joy and celebration for her, that her time here is done and freedom eternally in Christ awaits her. Saying that to her made me cry, just like it is now. It made her cry too, and she agreed with me. What an incredible, indescribable hope we have in Christ.

Would you please remember Geordie in your prayers? Her and Harold are rather elderly, and Harold also suffers from diabetes, and being overworked when he should have been able to retire 20 years ago. Kev and I are going to try to find a day early next week to go into town and do what we can for her. She always really liked Tim Horton's coffee, so I'd like to be able to take her one, and visit with her for a while. I'd like to vaccuum and dust too, but she probably wont let me. Maybe Kev can distract her while I tidy up a little for her.

Scripscenes Holiday Giveaway

Just a note that the Holiday Giveaway ends at midnight tonight! If you'd like to enter your name for the drawing (to be held tomorrow) get your entry in to me before midnight, to be eligible.

Go here for all the details on how to enter: http://continue.to/scripscenesgiveaway

Scatterbloggy, The Sequel

I have an incredible amount of things rolling around in my head right now that I really want to express here, but the timing isn't quite right. Among those things, are 2 rather controversial things going on in evangelical circles these these days (and they both spill over into this God-blogosphere we all enjoy so much). More on that later, maybe, after I give it more thought.

First however, I want to express my gratitude for you folks that left comments in my entry from night before last. I'm too lazy to link to it, but you know who you are and what I'm talking about, and you have given me much encouragment. Thank you for your faithfulness to the Lord. The only verse that comes to mind now is Galatians 6:2. You've helped me bear a burden, and I sure appreciate you.

In other news...

Reading the news this morning I figured I'd see something about John Lennon, and sure enough it was there. For those of you that don't realize it, it was 25 years ago today that Lennon was shot. For some newsworthy reason I guess it's important for people to recall the "where were you when..." idea over this. If you must know, I was babysitting that night, in a house across the street from one of my best friends. Some friends were there (including my boyfriend, who would become my husband 6 years later), and we had the radio tuned to the rock station in Seattle. The DJ broke the news with a broken voice. He didn't make it through the announcement without crying. I was a week away from turning 16, and while the news of Lennon's death was certainly sad, I couldn't figure out why it was so incredibly significant. He was a singer and a political activist. Why was his brutal murder any more important than anyone else's brutal murder? I didn't get it. Honestly, I still don't.

The irony of the breaking news that night, was where I was, and who was with me. The house I was babysitting in was a half a block away from the house Ben and I would live in many years later, with 4 little kids. We both commented when we moved in there in 1991, that it seemed odd to be living right back in the same neighborhood where we spent so much time as teenagers.

Anyway, enough of my trip down memory lane.

The 2 things I am planning on addressing soon, could possibly get me booted off the blogrolls of many, and dis-fellowshipped from the God blogosphere in general. I desire first and foremost to be honest in this, but also to be sensitive and God-honoring. There is something going on and I can't sit quietly by anymore and not address it. At the same time, if I do, I'm going to make some people angry, and put others on the defensive, and most certainly lose readers here. Losing readers is not my concern - getting people to take a hard look at what's going on, IS my concern.

Like I said above, the timing isn't right yet for this. Part of the reason for that is that I'm not so sure I want to be the scapegoat when I bring this up. Prior experience has proven to me that the messenger is usually the first one shot. I've been shot down quite a bit lately and I just not sure now is the right time to become a target again.

Suffice it to say, this issue (which is really just one issue with many facets) includes ecumenicism, double standards, the "good ole boy" club, and not a lot of Biblical discernment from some pretty influential evangelical voices in our day. I'll let you mull that over until I'm prepared to address it fully. Hopefully, between now and then, someone else will have written what I'm thinking, and they will have written it much better than I ever could, and I'll just link to them and say "yeah, what he said".

Until then...

Remembering Pearl Harbor

When I was a kid growing up in the Puget Sound, December 7th was a day to remember. If the 7th fell on a Friday, there was always a special time during the school day that the teacher or the whole school had set aside to talk about what happened. Often, we'd have an assembly where survivors were invited to speak, and encourage the kids to be good citizens, and if they considered joining the military, to encourage them in that too. They always reminded us that freedom is worth fighting for, and laying your life down for.

Where I grew up, and lived until 8 years ago, it's military-world. Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. Most of the bases were less than a few minutes walk in any direction. You almost never need a watch, since at exact times each day, the shipyard whistle blows, and you know what time it is. It's ironic that so much of my childhood was marked by the 4:20 yard whistle. That meant mom was off work and would be home soon.

Almost everyone that lived there, was connected to the military in some way, shape or form. In our family (and my extended family once I was married) there were first hand accounts of the bombing of Pearl Harbor. The memories, fear, rage, loss, anxiety and reaffirmation to serve.

It seems out of place somehow, living here in Canada and having very little mentioned of Pearl Harbor today. I don't know if they mention it in the public schools, since we homeschool. I know that the first mention of it I did see or hear, was at FOX news this afternoon. Myself, I've become so removed from it over the last 8 years, I didn't even think to mention it to the kids at all today. I feel bad about that.

This is in honor of my first husband's grandfather (stationed at Pearl Harbor on December 7th 1941) who survived to tell about it. This is also in honor of my own grandfather who was not in Pearl Harbor, but working at the military base in western WA at the time, with 3 small children, and ready to be called back to the Army, at a moment's notice.

This is also in honor of all the men who lost their lives that day, and their wives, and their children. Military service is a high calling, and sometimes laying down one's life for the price of freedom in our nation, it the highest price.

To the survivors (whom I recall with such huge respect, coming to our grade school every year to tell us about their own survivor stories), and to our current US military men and women, I salute you. You have my highest respect and admiration.

Rolling with the Tide

UPDATE: I really just wanted to delete this, but that wouldn't be vry authentice of me, now would it? (*rolls eyes).

Thank you all for your incredibly kind and sensitive words. I had a temporary weak-faith-panic-attack when I wrote this last night, and it's not something I'm proud of. You've already read it so there's not much point in removing it. I do appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement, they have already made a big difference in my attitude about all this.
____________________________

Kev came home from work tonight with some pretty bad news. His company (completely out of the blue) let 35 people go today. Some of them have been there for over 20 years. Kev's still got a job, for now, but no one knows if more layoffs are coming, and even if not, he did take a cut in pay (along with everyone else) and things are going to get pretty tough around here.

Suffice it to say we (our family) could really use some prayer just now. Things around here will be pretty uncertain for the next few weeks & months. Seems when it rains, it pours.

This should be fun

Today after school, I sat down to collect, sort, organize and grade all of Jessica's work for the last 3 months. Her daily work has all been graded, but I haven't done an average for the first part of the school year, yet. That comes at the end of this week, as we break for Christmas.

During the course of going through her papers, I found this. You'll have to click to enlarge to actually read it, and you'll want to do that. I'm not sure how I missed this paper last month, but obviously I did, since there is no grade on it. I read it, laughed and then read it again. When I checked the assignment in the book that was supposed to be here, I had to have a little talk with Jessica. Basically the assingment was to rewrite 30 sentences that were filled with slang, and present them with "formal conversation". She was given several examples in the text book to help her understand the goal of the assignment.

So, as a result of reading the assignment, and reading her version of it, Jessica and I decided to let YOU, bloggers, grade this paper. The name of her book is Analyses of Effective Communication, and since that what we (bloggers) try so hard to do, who better to grade it? Personally, I believe she was more than effective in communicating (very creative writing, complete with illustration!), even though she took liberties with the instructions.

The tool to grade this paper is in the poll on the left sidebar. On Friday, I will be grading her tests this week in all subjects, and taking the top ranking vote, for her grade for this paper.

Have fun :-)

Christian Artistry

Over the last few months, I've read much negative commentary on Christian artistry. It's true, the old saying "everyone's a critic".

I don't know that I'd call myself an artist, in the text-book definition, but I certainly do have a creative bent that I enjoy persuing. As a result of that, and because I am a Christian, some have even jumped on the critic-bandwagon regarding the items I create and sell at my store.

Not that I feel a need to defend myself (because I don't), but I would like to offer an explanation of why I do what I do. If you couldn't care less, that's fine too.

Sunsets & nature scenes are my favorite things in the world to photograph. While I am certainly not a professional photographer, I am studying under one, and learning from a pro. It's something I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember. He's a good friend, a fair (and sensitive) critic, and a fellow believer. Just a few nights ago we had a good talk about nighttime photography, and how to capture light and depth with just the right amount of exposure. Photography really is an art, and a skill, and it's not as easy and just pointing and shooting.

With all of that said - what I see through my lense is the beauty of God's majestic hand on His creation. Sunrises, sunsets, a field of wheat blowing in the wind. These things can sometimes leave me breathless, and speechless. I've explained before how Scripscenes started, but in a nutshell I started it in an effort to capture this beauty and share it with others. It's really that simple.

Do I feel like I've sold out, because I offer these scenic displays on such things as tote bags, wall clocks, t-shirts or coffee mugs? NOPE, I sure don't. Every product I put my graphic on, I'd use, wear, or hang on my wall, if it were in my house. These are things we use every day anyway, and if I could have a nice graphic with a Bible verse on it, ON the item, all the better. We do in fact have things like this in our house. For me it's not a sell-out at all, it's an expression of who I am and what's important to me.

Sure there are artists far more talented that I am, and there are critics for everyone inbetween my level of talent and the best of the best. I try to give the Lord the glory in what I do, and I'm perfectly okay with having a "Christian merchandise" store. Honestly, for the life of me, I cannot figure out why a Psalm on a coffee mug gets some people so worked up.

Several years ago, Kev and I were at the grocery store and he had on a "Christian" t-shirt. I don't recall what it said but it had something to do with creation v. evolution. It was an eye-catching design (not my own) and he wore it quite a bit. We were in line, putting our groceries on the conveyer-belt thing, and the lady behind us said to Kev "hey, nice shirt". He was a little surprised and just said "thank you, it's what I believe". She smiled and said "oh! me too".

Interesting how a sell-out/cheesy/tacky/low-class merchandising product can strike up a conversation in the grocery store, with Kev never saying a word.

There's a passage of Scripture that I really like, that actually pertains to this.

Deut.6:4 ¶ Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

Yes, many will argue "but that's not LITERAL!". Well, in my house it is. Not only do we love Him and strive to constantly love Him with all our heart, soul and might, but we diligently persue hiding His word in our hearts. We teach His word to our kids, and we talk about His word all day long, at every opportunity. His word being the final authority, it is the source we turn to for wisdom, instruction, correction, and edification in any and every area of our lives.

We also have His word in several forms, written (on the walls) in our house. Posters, plaques, prints, etc. Some are my designs, some were gifts, some we bought at over-priced Christian bookstores. Today in fact, I will be printing out commandments 1 through 7 since we're in the process of memorizing (as a family) the 10 commandments. Each commandment will be printed on a seperate page, and each page will go up on the wall above the chalkboard in the schoolroom, for easy reference & constant reminder (for all of us).

So there ya go. My apologetic for being a Christian artist, and having His word on my walls, my t-shirts, and all my other stuff.
:-)

Woops - I forgot to add this:

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If you haven't read this yet...

You really should. Good perspective that's been brought up many times before. It's always good to be reminded again.

The Christian Mind: IM One Another

Canker of Neology

Last week, fellow GTA blogger Ian Clary at Ruminations by the Lake, gave a shoutout to another fellow GTA blogger Darrin Brooker at Running Well. In case you're wondering, GTA means greater Toronto area. Technically, a lot of us who are considered GTA, are nowhere near Toronto, but it just makes life easier for everyone to say it that way. I guess we're closer to Toronto than Dublin Ireland, so in that regard, we're GTA.

In any case, Darrin at Running Well posted an amazing piece the other day by Scottish minister Robert Haldane, on Christians and Controversy.

Here's just a snippet:

"When the canker of the principles of neology [the use of new meanings for established words], derived from the Continent and from America, is perverting the faith of many and seducing them into the paths of error--which a spirit of lukewarmness and indifference to truth is advancing under the mask of charity and liberality, there is a loud call on all Christians to "stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the Gospel," to present a firm and united phalanx of opposition to error under every name--from whatever quarter it may approach. Should believers become unfaithful to their trust and be seduced to abandon their protest against false doctrines, they may gain the approbation of the world--but what will this avail when compared with the favor of God?"

Now this sounds awfully familiar. The canker of neology that perverts the faith and seduces many into the path of error. All with a spirit of indifference to truth, gaining steam under the guise of charity and liberality.

As my friend Denise says "hellewwww?!"

If that doesn't sound like the postmodernist garbage taking a foothold in our churches today, I have no idea what would. And Haldane wrote this well over 150 years ago.

Go check out the full quote from Haldane at Darrin's site.

Scattered

I've been meaning to write about this for a few weeks now. The irony is, other things keep coming up and distracting me away from addressing it. You'll have to continue reading to understand why this is ironic.

Some months ago, I decided to make an effort to make this place a good resource for practical Christian living ideas, helps, encouragment, etc. Sometimes I miss the mark with silly post that don't amount to a hill of beans. Sometimes I get inspired and it spills over here.

One of the most important parts of our Christian lives, is our regular communion with the Father, in prayer. This is a spiritual discipline that has been addressed in a million and one ways. Some people pray all day long, others have a set time of prayer at the beginning, or ending (or both) of each day. It's a little different with every believer, I think.

Last year, I read something that really helped me a lot, when it comes to prayer:

"It has been said that to rise up to God, it is best to be upon your knees. This indeed is true. It's certainly not the only way to 'soar upwards', as it were: to commune with "our Father which art in heaven" (Matt.6:9), but it's certainly desirable for a Christian to be prostrate before God, in communion with his Maker. But what is this act? What do we gain, or hope to gain? What circumstance, desire, need or belief sets us to this exercise? Indeed, who is the real author of the delights that true communion brings? Some and more of these questions I hope to attempt an answer to in this discourse. I believe that after a thorough Biblical search of this subject, the only conclusion that we- as the redeemed in Christ- will be able to come to, is that after the grace shown us on the "cursed tree"- our salvation in Christ Jesus- the next greatest benefit as the bride of Christ (Jn.3:29; Rev.21; 9), is this wonderful and mysterious communion we have with the Godhead, the Almighty Trinity."

That was written by Kevin. Yep, my Kevin. You can read the full article here. When he wrote "the next greatest benefit as the bride of Christ is this wonderful and mysterious communion we have with the Godhead, the Almighty Trinity" I read that nodding my head in agreement.

Prayer is something (for me) that I can't live without. When something wonderful happens, I pray. Before we start school each day, we pray. At the close of each day, when someone gets hurt, when there's been an argument, when Kev is on his way home from work in a snowstorm. There are so many things throughout the day that cause me to turn to the Lord in prayer, that I might be surprised myself if I ever listed them all. I honestly don't know what I'd do if for some reason something happened that restricted my ability to pray. I often wonder what I did with my time, and my days, before I was a person of prayer.

The one area of prayer that seems to be the most difficult, is the time I set aside to pray at bed time. At the close of the day I have so many things going through my mind. All the events of the day, circumstances and details as they pertain to each kid, school, unfinished projects, things that need to be done tomorrow, next week, financial issues... the list is almost endless. What I find happening quite often is that as I'm praying about these things, my mind begins to wander. From staying focused on what I'm praying about, to the minute details about the things I was praying about, and how that connects to something else, and so on and so on. A few minutes later I catch myself and realize I didn't finish praying, but let my mind wander into other areas. I refocus again and return to praying. Often my mind wanders again before I'm done.

This has bothered me for a long time. Moreso because I don't want to take this privelege for granted. To me it is a great honor to be able to take all my joys, woes, struggles, and everything in between, to the Father in prayer. When I go from an attitude of praise to thinking about the broken toy that needs to be glued tomorrow, it's bothersome to me.

I suppose being a mother of 7 kids, constantly mindful of each kid, where they are, what they need, what needs to be done today, and how it all fits together to somewhat resemble an organized home, has a lot to do with being "scatterbrained" or easily distracted. This habit of being distracted spills over into my evening prayer time and I don't like it.

So, I determined to do something about it. It's a simple thing really, but it works. I can't pray with my eyes closed, I have to keep them open. Now that might sound odd, but when the room is dark, I'm at the end of the day and my eyes close, that's when sleep begins knocking at my door, and with that comes the wandering thoughts and the lack of focus. If I keep my eyes open, it helps me stay on track with what I want to pray about, including thanking the Lord for the gift of sleep that He's given us.

This might not be a big deal to anyone reading, but it's a big deal to me. I've read many times how others get distracted when they pray, and I've always been interested to see what they do to keep their minds and hearts in a prayer-mode. Practical helps, for a spiritual discipline of a believer's life. This is the stuff I look forward to reading - it helps me (and I need all the help I can get!).

I do hope it's helped someone else.

Umm...

In case you were wondering where I got my inspiration for this t-shirt design...

A Family Policy

I've written about this before here, but due to the time of year, I think it's a good time to bring this up again.

Sick kids in church...

Kevin and I strongly believe that if your kid is sick, and potentially contagious with a cold or flu, they ought to stay home from church or mid-week kid's programs. Of course that means one of the parents has to stay home too, and 99.99% of the time that means me, in our house.

This "policy" we have wasn't agreed on lightly. None of us enjoy staying home from church, and none of us want to. But weighing the pros and cons of the situation, it's a rather selfish thing to do to simply medicate up, and drag your kids off to church so that you can be there. All the while, they (or you) are spreading your virus to everyone else there, so that others can begin suffering in a couple of days and miss church next week.

Since Samuel burnt his foot 3 months ago, for one reason or another I have only been to a Sunday service once. He wasn't able to go for several weeks due to that, but then the fall colds started. It really really bothers me, but there is very little I can do about it. We can only attend every other week as it is, with Kev's work schedule, and it seems that it's always the Sunday that we can go, that something happens where I end up staying home with a sick kid, or being sick myself. With 5 kids in this house, it's almost as if the viruses we get just seem to rotate and someone is always sick, from about mid-September until March. It was really bad last year, and I think I went 3-4 months at one point without ever being at church. It made me feel a little better knowing that we weren't the only family dealing with it though.

Problem is, parents who DON'T keep their sick kids at home.

Here's a very real scenario that plays out in our house all winter long:

Kev and most of the kids go to church on Sunday. I stay home with a sick kid. Someone else has taken their sick kid to church, and 2 of mine catch it. Of course we don't know that they've caught it, but by Tuesday or Wednesday morning sometime they're coughing or sneezing, runny noses and body aches. A week goes by, and we miss the next Sunday anyway because Kev's 45 miles away at work, with the van. Week 2 begins with 2 of the kids nearly over their virus, with 2 more of them (and me, and Kev too) just coming down with it. By the next Sunday, when we all could have gone to church, one or more of us is staying home with a sick kid, because some other parent took their sick kid to church.

Now I realize that sometimes your kids are contagious and you (and them) don't even realize they have anything yet, so obviously there's a no fault clause there. But what about the parents who KNOW their kids are sick, and medicate them and take them to church? Do they really think that the other kids in church aren't going to get it? Do they realize that those kids are going to go home and spread it around their families? Do they think about these things at all, or is being in church more imporatant to them than any of that?

Being in church for me, is a wonderful thing. I love to be among the saints, hearing the word preached, worshipping together, and praying together. I'm getting weepy-eyed just writing this, because I haven't been able to go for so long. I long to be there, but I don't long to be there so much I will drag along a sick kid to make you and your family sick, later in the week. IT'S NOT FAIR to you, and it's not fair to me, or my kids.

Because we homeschool, and because we live in the country (not walking distance to any friends homes), being in church on Sunday and Wednesday is the highlight of our week, for worship, and for social gatherings of likeminded believers. We don't get to go as a whole family, for most of the winter because other families don't think about this sort of thing when they take their sick kids to church. The kids are also going to miss the annual Christmas concert this year, for this very reason. They're not happy about it, and neither are we.

Kev and I both spoke to our pastor last winter about this and he wholeheartedly agreed. At least once that I know of he mentioned it from the pulpit during bulletin announcements. I've brought this up with other believers, and other pastors, and everyone seems to agree that if your kids are sick, STAY HOME. Treat the virus at home, so that everyone (not just your family, but other families too) can worship together next Sunday.

I wish everyone would do this. I wish everyone would be more mindful of those families that aren't coming during the winter months, and maybe ask themselves why.

Some pics from today

I was going to post these at my photoblog, but I'm considering discontinuing that blog anyway. So, I'm posting them here. Click any shot to enlarge. :-) Click on by if pictures bore you.

I have no idea how cold it is outside right now, I was in a hurry. This is just above my deck. The low is supposed to be 18 tonight, and with wind chill (and it's WINDY) that just drops it down even further. However, neither wind, nor snow, nor 'do not tresspass', nor man-eating plant, will stop an obessive photographer. Especially when you're losing the last light of the day and want the right conditions to capture the glow from the Christmas lights on the snow.




In this shot on the right, we thought it would be nice to make sure we placed the lights around the pond where every snow drift would cover them completely, and you'd never see them. We're brilliant that way. Actually, what happens when the drift covers them is that they melt a little hole in the snow just above & around them, and they glow right through the snow. It's very cool looking.

Eventually, even that little branch over the center of the pond will be covered, and only the lights will shine through.

This picture here is one of the lights surrounding the faerie garden. My hope was to capture the light, crisp and sharp, while not losing the sparkle of the snow around it. It's SO pretty at dusk, when the snow starts to sparkle. Expect to see a few more shots like this between now and March - I'm somewhat obessive with my camera, and everyone who knows me, knows this. Just ask my 19 yr old "My Whole Life Is On Film" Jennifer. :-)

And here we have the front of the house. The way the wind blows out here we don't get a lot of accumulation in an even way. We get snow drifts that are HUGE, and usually block the garage door shut, and require shovelling just to get it open. We'll have to replace all the lights next year, since much of the color has faded or chipped off and they aren't as bright and sparkly as they used to be. We sure like them though.

I'm still getting used to the way the pics align with the text, so if this looks sort of choppy, please forgive me. I'll get it figured out sooner or later. Most likely.

No one reads or comments on the weekend, so...

So I can post pretty much anything, not post anything at all, and it won't matter one way or another. ;-)

I have a headache. A blinding, screaming, this-is-a-booger-of-a-headache, headache. Started yesterday at around 7pm and seems to come and go. Advil isn't touching it. I think I caught it from Frank.

At anyrate, I'm posting because I'm awake.

Lookie there, snow. Yesterday's plans were all messed up due to the weather. Snowsquall warnings, whiteout conditions, and lions and tigers and bears. Oh my. So instead of my regular Friday routine of going out and doing all the weekly shopping, Kev went out and got just what we needed, assuming the break in the weather would be here today. Pfftt... when will we ever learn NOT to trust the forecast? The break in the weather we were SUPPOSED to get today, now appears to have been put on hold until sometime later tonight. We're still under "whiteout warning". Hard to drive to the grocery store when you're driving in white. When you can see for a few minutes, you realize the snow isn't actually coming down, it's coming horizontal. If you happen to be outside, for any ludicrous reason, you'll have already figured this out because it's snowing IN your ear, and up your face.

So anyway, Kev rented a couple of movies for us while he was out. One of them was March of the Penguins. We've been wanting to see this for a while now, and were quite impressed with it. Sure there's a little bit of evolution-junkage in it, here and there, but if you can ignore that, I highly recommend this movie. It was so good in fact, for science on Monday, we're going to have the kids sit down and watch it, then have a discussion on creation & evolution.

The other movie Kev rented was this one. I did have issues with the cussing (there's some, not tons, but some), but I had more issues with the Lord's name being used in vain. I hate hearing that. If you haven't seen this one yet, it's pretty good - even if Tom Cruise doesn't get his face eaten by an alien. That would have been the alternate ending. Dakota Fanning is a great little actress, and we enjoy watching her. She was amazing in Man on Fire and I Am Sam, too.

So that was movie night. I just went to the kitchen for a refill and it's still horizontalling. I'd say snowing, but since it's coming down sideways, it's horizontalling.

On a completely unrelated note...

In one of the comment threads here, Frank (centuri0n) Turk (yes, the one I cought the headache from) gives me (yeah, me... whooda thunk it?) credit for inspiring him to open his online store. Don't believe me? Look here: "Second of all, Carla is a web celeb. Hands down. She's the one who convinced me that I should have a cafe press store. If you don't like my items, blame her -- she's the big girl who started the idea of merchandising the blog." (proof)

So, technically... shouldn't I be sharing in some percentage of his profits from that store? I think there's a legal issue here. I think, every booyah product Frank sells, I should get some kind of courtesy "inspired by Carla, who has cooler stuff in her store than Frank does" mention. Hmmm... just a thought. And for the record Frank, I've had this store (or a variation of it) for several years before I ever had a blog. So there ya go.

While I'm on unrelated, scattered thoughts...

Today is December 3rd. It marks the anniversary of the day my best friend in highschool was t-boned in her Camaro by a Kharmengia (sp?) and was out of commission for months afterward. The Camaro was totalled, and the whole thing was my fault and to this day, 25 years later, I still feel bad about it.

We were 15, and at 15 had all the life experience & wisdom of a wet cornflake. We'd had an argument, and hadn't been speaking for about a week. She called me that night and said she wanted to talk, and I said I didn't want to talk on the phone. If you want to talk, I said, in a snotty way, you come up to my house and let's talk face to face. I was still mad at her, and she wanted to mend fences (only I didn't know it at the time). She said okay, and hung up. She got in her car, and headed up to my house about 8 blocks away. An hour went by, then 2. I called a few mutual friends to see if they'd heard from her, and no one had. Then another mutual friend called me, from the hospital.

He'd been on his way home and drove right past the scene of the accident. He recognized her car right away, so he stopped. She had to be removed with the jaws of life machine, and she was taken by ambulance to the hospital. No major injuries, but some pretty serious minor ones. The accident happened right in front of her house.

The next day, that same mutual friend came over and we went down to the tow-yard to get some stuff out of her car for her. I said to him then, I was so glad I knew she was okay before I had seen the car, or I'd have been convinced she was dead. When the VW hit her, it hit the driver's side door, and pushed her car 180 degrees into the intersection and pinned it (wrapped it, more like it) around a telephone pole on the passenger side. There couldn't have been more than a foot between the driver's side, and passenger side doors. It looked like this: > <

The paramedic told her mom, the only thing that saved her life was the fact that she wasn't wearing a seatbelt. When the car hit her, it catapulted her from her seat, that was now unrecognizable under munched metal.

I felt so bad. SO bad. I cried and cried, and when they let her come home from the hospital a few days before my birthday, I went down to her house and brought her a box of pop-tarts. Hey, when you're 15, pop-tarts are health food. We talked, made up, laughed, and ate pop-tarts. That was 25 years ago this coming week. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Remember those old coffee percolators? Remember how the little glass ball on top would let you see the coffee bubbling in and out? That's what my head is doing. Okay for a few minutes, then the pain percolates back to the top. It's all connected to my nose and ears and I feel like someone stuffed cotton all up in there. I tried Advil last night, and it didn't work. I shall now try an Aleve, and if that doesn't work, I will be asleep until further notice. I'm so glad Kev is off work this weekend. We've postponed my birthday celebration for 2 weeks, due to the weather, so I'm glad about that too. Kinda hard to have fun and enjoy a birthday when your head is the size of Alaska and all you want to do is pull the cotton out.

I'm out for now.......

Friday Funny Bone 12/2

This was sent to me in email a couple of days ago - author unkown.

Some good reasons not to mess with children.

• A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

• A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

• One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well , every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

• The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

• A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

• The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Christian elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The teacher made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note,
"Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Double Standards...

...the abomination of differing weights and measures

That's what Steve Camp called his article today on this topic. Interesting timing, considering I just spent 2 days writing about a similar issue among believers. Go read what Steve had to say. It should make you think, a lot.

Some timely reminders...

I normally post the Friday Funny Bone here at this time, Friday mornings. That will have to wait until later, Lord willing, as I have a few reminders to bring to your attention.

1. Only 4 more days of free shipping from my store. It's simple, any order over $50.00 and shipping is FREE. Just enter the coupon code FREESHIP on your order when you check out.

2. Only 6 more days to enter the Scripscenes Holiday Giveaway. Contest closes on the 8th, and the winner will be announced on the 9th. Want free stuff? Then GO ENTER.

3. I help you win something, you help ME win something! Sounds like a fair trade, right? Only 13 more days to make my picture at this contest, be one of the 13 finalists that receives the MOST votes each day. You have to go back and vote every day, to get me into the final round. The top 3 pics are then chosen for merit (focus, lighting, originality, etc.) and each of the 3 winners receives a 10 THOUSAND dollar gift card from the sponsoring store. So help me make it to the finals! Go here and vote for this pic, then go back every day and vote again!

4. Only 10 more days until my birthday. I accept all gifts of chocolate, preferably Belgian, no nuts please. Nuts in chocolate goes against all laws of nature. No gift is too small, and all donations are extremely appreciated. For those of you wondering, I'm turning 41, on 12/12. Just don't tell my mom. I'm her baby, and if she hears someone mention her baby is almost 41, that will make her feel old.

There was one more thing to remind you of, but I forgot what it was. :-
As soon as I remember, I'll let you know. In the meantime, go post a get well soon comment at Frank's blog. He's sick and he could use some encouragment. I think he's delirious at this point.

Upon further reflection...

I want to address some of the comments left at yesterday's entry. I'll do it here since haloscan only allows so much room before it cuts you off.

Before I address the comments, I want to make a clarification or 2. First of all, I didn't mean to single anyone out, or anything like that. My questions were supposed to be directed at a general issue, not about any 1 blogger, and not about any 1 topic. This has happened on lots of blogs over lots of topics, so singling one or the other out was never the point.

Secondly, this also wasn't about me, specifically. Although it has (and does) happen to me, I see it rather often on other blogs too. Maybe it's because it does happen to me, that I'm more keenly aware of it elsewhere when I see it happen? Likely. But again, it wasn't about me specifically. If I really wanted to whine about being overlooked, there would be no mistake about it, you'd KNOW I was whining about being overlooked. ;-)

Comments

Suzi (lucyplusfour) made a great observation: "Bring it all back to why you started blogging to begin with."

Now if this were only about me, this would be a really good reminder. It's not only about me but I'm going to apply it anyway. Why did I start to begin with? That's easy, it's what I do: write to unload thoughts, ideas, struggles, joys, to bless someone, to critique lousy doctrine - whatever's on my mind, it comes out on paper, or here. Is most of it not worth reading? That's up for debate. I know at least one guy who reads here once in a while who can't stand me and thinks I have dangerous unblanced theology. Funny thing is, I really like this guy. He's funny, witty, has great insights on Scripture, and is a blessing to a lot of people. That's all besides the point. I blogged for months before anyone knew I was blogging. Once in a while someone would come along and comment, but most days no one did, and I didn't care. I jokingly said things like "all 3 of my readers" since I had no idea if I really had more than that, or not. I know now that I do, so that part is pretty neat.

How does that tie in with what I wrote about yesterday? It ties in by reminding myself of my focus for this blog. The 'sphere is a strange and wonderful place and it's easy to get sidetracked with unimportant issues, that obscure the focus of a Christian blog. So Lucy's reminder was a really good one for me. Thank you Lucy, you rock. :-)

Denise (Surphing) said: "Some good points made here. However, I do believe Christians ARE more impressed by name recognition than they either realize or care to admit. Its favoritism and frankly it stinks."

Denise and I have had this conversation before. She's right, and we can all pretend she isn't, but that doesn't get us very far. I guess the real meat of her statement would be asking ourselves why we're more impressed (or influenced) by names & personalities? I'm not immune to it, and I doubt most of you are either. How does that work? Why would I be more prone to read Ed The Famous Evangelist's blog and comment on it, when he said the same thing Jane Obscurity said, and I didn't comment on her blog? I'm not sure, but that nasty P word is rattling around in there somewhere, I'm sure of that much.

Ian posted and told me he picked a date for the GTA Evangelical Bloggers Brunch, and it's a day Kev works so I can't come! Okay this is the part where I whine about being left out, and there is no mistake about it. (*throws self on floor, rolls around screaming and kicking the floor alternately shouting "change the date pretty please with a genuine Canadian butter tart on top!?") See? I told you there is no mistaking my actual whines about myself.

Libbie (who is incredibly funny and almost always makes me laugh even while making an incredible point) commented to Denise and said: "don't we see that in the wider sphere of Christendom? I become a christian, and my opinion and spiritual discernment is no more interesting or important than anyone elses - mostly likely, rightly less so. One of the Baldwin brothers becomes a believer, and his opinions on all manner of spiritual things suddenly become tremendously important, because he is now a 'Christian Celebrity'."

Libbie has nailed it. Again, my question is why are we like this? We can all throw our hands up in the air and simply say "well it's pride, dontcha know?" but that's too easy. Too simplistic. To platitude-ish. I want to understand it better - so that I'm more aware of why it's done - and so that I do it less. I don't want to be like this, it's ugly. I don't like ugly.

Gummby (aka Matt, aka Chicle, or Chuckle, or something like that, aka Frank's sidekick in training) turned it around and asked: "Do you ever have the opposite feeling of this? That is, do you ever feel enthralled or vindicated when some "big fish" talks or write about the same things you do? I had this happen on Sunday--I mentioned to my friend Bryan that I hated missing church & homegroup, because when I do I always lose momentum. Our pastor said essentially the same thing in his sermon, and I got a quick nod of the head from Bryan. That's a small example, but there's a certain thrill (for me anyway) from having that happen. "

Well, in a word: yes. I guess it's that likeminded aspect of knowing other Christians are thinking and praying about the same practical Christian issues that you are, that confirms for you that you're not the only one who cares about this issue or that issue. So yes, it's good to hear others talk about the same things you're talking about. But let me turn this around on you Matt and ask how you'd feel if your pastor said word for word, exactly the same thing you did? Maybe even used a word that you always use, and he never uses, in his statement - also confirming for you that you knew he'd eavesdropped on your conversation with your friend, and literally took your words and concerns as his own? Wouldn't that make you feel somewhat... I don't know, ripped off? Used? Stepped on? I know we're not supposed to pay much attention to it when we are used or treated like dirt by the world, but when it happens within the household of faith (even unintentionally) it just leaves a real awkward sense about it.

Matt made this point as well: "if you catch me writing something and think "that sounds like me," even if I fail to recognize you, just know that it is unintentional, and I hope you can be happy in the knowledge that you had a hand in what I wrote"

Very good point indeed. I know that this does happen, I've done it myself. I read a lot of different things and don't always remember where I read a certain quote or a point, but it does inspire me to write about it, because it's an issue that I'm also passionate about.

But going back to the part of this that still irks me...

The overlooking of the little guy, in favor of "amening" the big fish. Of course there are pride issues involved there, that's obvious.

There's a phenomena (phenomenon?) that happens in Christian chats that a few of us have had conversations about. Here's the scenario:

10 people in a Christian chat discussing regeneration, justification, or practical Christian living. Several chatters make simply astounding observations worthy of much consideration. Enter: Mister Web Celebrity. By a web-celeb I mean someone on the 'net with a big ole web page, or blog, or offline ministry, but he happens to be online too. Mister Web Celeb enters the chat, and half the room suddenly disappears like yesterday's coffee filter. Nothing they have to say is worth responding to, as half the room suddenly falls all over themselves to say hello to Celeb Chatter, and ask him what his thoughts are on the topic at hand.

It happens ALL the time. I was talking to a brother about it the other day, and he said he just leaves the chat when it happens, as he can't stand it. He said it embarasses him, for the ones doing it, that they can't even see what it is that they're doing. Like the star-gazers that go to Hollywood and make complete fools of themselves just to get an autograph of a celebrity. I agreed with him, as I've noticed the same thing for a long time now. I hesitate to admit I've ever done it myself, because I honestly don't recall a time when I have, but I probably have and don't even realize it.

At any rate, I do appreciate the thoughts you've all shared. It's given me much to consider.

GTA Evangelical Bloggers Brunch

A few of us GTA bloggers have talked about this in email for a while now, and along comes Ian and pulls the whole thing together!

Here's the scoop from Ian's post today:

"After speaking with a number of bloggers in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area for those not from around here), I am officially posting an invite to the first Toronto Evangelical Bloggers Brunch!
This will hopefully provide an opportunity for a lot of us who only know each other through our respective blogs to meet. The invitation is open to anyone in the GTA who blogs and considers themselves conservative evangelicals. Even if you're not familiar with the rest of the blogs listed below, if you fit the above mentioned category, you are invited.
Upon consensus (see I'm democratic!), I have determined a date for our gathering: Saturday January 21st, 2006 at 10am. I have also asked Tim Challies and Michael Haykin to each give a brief talk on the relationship between Christianity and the blogosphere."

Tim says:

"Ian later uses the term "lecture" to describe this address, but I am not much of a lecturer. In fact, I am generally far more comfortable with the written word than the spoken word, so this event will see me stepping a little outside of my comfort zone. Of course it doesn't help much that I am speaking after (or before) someone who speaks for a living."

Oh Tim, you'll do fine!

Here's the list of bloggers Ian posted, that might be coming:


Challies Dot Com
Charis Christos
Christian Thought
Coluratura Christian
Cowboyology
Historia Ecclesiastica
Kerux Noemata
Lost in Grace
Nikopedia
Patience Reveals Providence
Post Darwinist
Pulpiteering
QuoVadis
Redeeming the Time
Reflections of the Times
Ruminations by the Lake
RipostesRushyama
The Upward Call
Twin Towers of Faith

Now... the bad news (for me) is, due to the date, I cannot make it. For the same reason we miss church every other Sunday, I wont be able to get to this get together. Kev works that weekend. So unless there's any possibility of Ian changing the date, I wont be there. Bummer for me, but it sure sounds like a lot of fun for those of you that can make it.

Serious Q's

Why is it, that certain topics addressed by certain bloggers, go completely ignored, UNLESS (or until) some of the more well-known bloggers, write about them?

Why is it that these topics are not link-worthy, not discussion-worthy, until some of the top-dog bloggers get their hands on them, THEN every blogger and his dog adds his 3 cents to the mix, and considers the topic important?

Why is it that the topic (link) that was previously addressed (on the lesser known blogs) a year ago, 6 months ago, or 3 weeks before the top-bloggers got ahold of it, is ignored by people?

Why have I read in so many places comments like this:

"I wrote about that last year, how come all of a sudden NOW it's important when last year people totally ignored what I had to say?"

Is it because the lesser known bloggers don't say it well enough to get anyone's attention?
Is it because it doesn't serve any real "status" (read: trackbacks, blogrolls, hat tips, etc.) purpose to link to the Joe Nobody blogs?
Is it because they are lesser known blogs, so only 3 people in the universe ever saw it to begin with?

Why does it appear that credit is often not given where it's due?
Why does it appear that something someone wrote a year ago, or 2 years ago, suddenly finds itself in the limelight this week or this month, but with a completely different blogger's signature at the bottom of it? (with no mention of the source or event he slightest "thank you" for the person who inspired them or encouraged them to write about it)

There's something not right about this. Something's missing, and I'm not sure what it is.

If I were smart, I'd never post this to begin with.

However, I've seen this happen too many times to ignore it. I've received emails about it, private messages about it, and I know I'm not the only one who notices it. I've even been chastised myself for not giving proper credit where its due.

So, fire away. What's going on here?

Just some things...

Over the past week or so, I've been dealing with some things that have in some ways, left me feeling like a helium balloon, that had the string cut. Just sort of floating around aimlessly, with no particular destination in mind. I detest this feeling, and it comes around from time to time, and I have to deal with it.

I read somewhere in these last few days, a description of a man that said he "was given to melancholy". For some reason that phrase stuck with me. I knew it meant prone to bouts of extreme sadness or dark moods, but I wanted to look a little deeper at it. Partially because it's such an "old" phrase that intrigued me, and partially because it so accurately described myself, at times.

If this is confessional blogging, so be it. Many people have a lot of negative things to say about this kind of writing, and in some ways I actually agree with them. Today this is "where I am" and if folks don't want to know about it, they can easily remedy that by the ever popular "escape via the red X in the top right corner".

I like dictionary.com, and I use it a lot. When I was a kid, I was fascinated to no end to stand in the public school library on the step stool, and thumb through the pages of the gigantic dictionary on the stand. Looking up words and seeing how they were used, entertained me more than any ole stupid Saturday morning cartoon. That, coupled with my near-obessive habit of reading encyclopedias for entertainment, made up a huge part of my childhood, on a rainy, dismal Pacific Northwest day.

This morning I went to dictionary.com to look at the word melancholy. Here's what it had to say:

mel·an·chol·y n.
1. Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom: “There is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass” (Charles Kuralt).
2. Pensive reflection or contemplation.
3. Archaic. Black bile. An emotional state characterized by sullenness and outbreaks of violent anger, believed to arise from black bile.

The archaic definition caught my attention immediately. I've heard this phrase before, but I cannot recall where. So I looked up "black bile":

a humor (bodily fluid) that was once believed to be secreted by the kidneys or spleen and to cause sadness and melancholy

Now here's where this goes from interesting (to me) to just plain bizarre. Like I said, the word melancholy seems to accurately define the way I've been feeling the last week or so. But yesterday, after I woke up from my afternoon nap, my right kidney was bothering me. From about 4pm until I turned in last night at about 11:30, off and on it would ache and throb. Not enough to take anything for it, but just enough to say "hello, my name is Right Kidney, and I don't like you right now".

Pure coincidence, or evidence of legitimate physical connection? I have no idea, but I did find it rather interesting. I suppose I could go to google and do a little research on this, but I'm not that interested in it. When I woke up an hour ago Mr. Kidney was back to his quietly-functioning self, without drawing any attention to his existance. I just thought the connection was interesting.

Now I know many believers who will say that if you're an emotional person, or a person prone to sadness or doubts, that your faith is weak, you're a lousy Christian, and you need to repent. To that I say "pffffft" (heavy emphasis on the fft). Some folks are just like this, and it may or may not have anything to do with their faith. Some folks need to stop trying so hard to be mistaken for Job's friends.

People who know me (offline) would never (in a zillion years) describe me as an emotional person. And honestly, I'm glad. I am an analytical, practical, organized, hands on, get the job done, get over yourself and look at the larger picture kind of person. I'm also a creative, frustrated dreamer, with 90 million unfinished projects in my mind (and a few of them sitting around the house). The thought occured to me last night, that if I had the opportunity to do nothing at all with my time, other than persue my unfinished projects, I wonder where I would go with that? I quickly shot that thought down, as it felt like I was dabbling in "ungrateful" territory. Ungrateful for what I have right in front of me to occupy my time. This is part of what it is to be a frustrated creative dreamer. Just the way it is.

So why am I writing all this, today? I'm writing it because it's what I do - open my mind and heart (and kidneys and spleen, apparently) and get it all out. Then I go back and re-read it and if it impresses me that "wow, you sure sound like a blithering dolt" I delete it. If not, I share it in hopes that it might help someone else. I don't know if this would help anyone at all today, but there it is all the same.

At the risk of defying Phil's pegging me for his convivial category, (and being slung straight down into worrisome, weird or irritating), you've just completed this little piece of 'confessional blogging' and now know more about me than you really ever wanted to. We shall now return you to your regularly scheduled routine of happy-blessed-edifying-blog rolling. I suspect the black bile has left the building.

It's time to make oatmeal.

P.S. Kev woke me up before he left for work (and I fell back asleep) and said "do you want me to pick anything up on my way home?" In my 75% asleep/25% awake state I replied: "yes, chocolate". I heard him laugh on his way out the door, as I fell back asleep. Lord willing, he'll return home tonight at about 7:45, with a Cadbury bar for me. Stress and struggles and black bile aside, life is pretty good.